7 Ways to Navigate Your Highly Charged Political Conversations

As young people, one of the hardest emotions we have to manage is our passion for justice. More than ever we are a generation that desires to “right wrongs” that are happening in the world around us.  And that’s a good thing!  However, there are times when our passion for justice overides our command to honor those in charge.  Jesus chose to honor first before bringing justice to the world and we should do the same.  As wrong as it was for him to be shamed by those in charge, discredited by authorities and falsely accused, Jesus chose not retaliate but to honor those in charge and leave the justice up to God through the cross.

 But I’m fully aware that it’s not as easy as were saying. So, how do we honor those God has put over us when we don’t agree with them?  Here some suggestions: 

1. Stop labeling each other and start learning from each other

Christians can fall into the trap of dishonoring others whose political beliefs or ideas are different.  Left-leaning Christians engage in rhetoric that labels our right-leaning authorities as anti-poor, anti-woman, anti-immigrant and so on.  Right-leaning Christians can label our democratic friends on the left as anti-capitalist, anti-white, anti-baby, anti-cop, etc.   What if we labeled each other as human beings?  What if we saw each other as creations of God?  Those labels give us a starting point to engage with others that isn’t political but personal to God.  They give us permission to accept each other despite our political positions so we can listen to each other rather than scream at each other.  Pursue the right perspective of each other before pursuing the right to push back against each other.  Your perspective of who you are is the best starting point to engage others where they are at.

2. Being disagreeable doesn’t mean being dishonorable 

When the actions of your leadership disagrees with your view of what leadership is, you have a choice to make.  Young David, an up-and-coming leader became successful and did everything right with those around him.  Even with those who were in authority over him.  King Saul, a political and spiritual leader that David reported to, chose to be irrational and dysfunctional.  To the point of wanting to kill David.  How would you honor a man who relentlessly sought to kill you? David had an understanding of the authority.  That God puts kings in charge and he knew that God had established making Saul king (1 Sam. 9:15-16). While Saul was his political leader, David’s honor for Saul was seen through is “honor lens” every day.  Every response by David towards Saul’s rants and ravages revealed to others how not only how much David loved God by how much he honored.  David spared Saul's life in the cave (1 Sam. 24:4-22) and again on the field of war while Saul was sleeping (1 Sam. 26:1-12) until finally this irrational ruler was defeated in battle and fell upon his own sword.  David not only grieved his death, prayed and fasted but wrote a song about his fallen leadership (2 Sam. 1:17-27). Instead of recounting all of Saul's weaknesses, the song he wrote actually recounted his honor.  Whenever possible, show respect for those in charge no matter how crazy they can sound (and maybe even write a song about them). 

 3. Engage with maturity don’t expel with immaturity  

It’s hard when we don’t get our own way.  My kids have taught me that.  They throw a tantrum, hit, throw and scream.  That’s what immaturity fosters.  Maturity provokes civility, conversation and peaceful discourse.  When we choose to riot, rebel and resist, it communicates a message to others that is immature.  God wants us to be mature as Christians.  Not just mature but “Christlike.” 

For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps. He never sinned, nor ever deceived anyone.

He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. 1 Peter 2:21-23

It’s tempting to bully behind your keyboard and tweetstorm.  But it would be far more valuable to donate your time, financial contributions or professional skill-sets to an organize your community (life group, small group, facebook group, book club, etc) and find where you can be a resource of information and a steward of conversation. Many people feel like they can’t get involved because they don’t know where to start. Just find a door of opportunity and start the conversation.

4. Instead of creating walls, create opportunities

Jesus chose to go into difficult places, not avoid them.  He was seen with the marginalized, the broken and the hurting.  He was a friend of drunks, sexual deviants, outcasts, etc.  He was more pro-woman than any political figure in history considering the context of the first century.  He was more “politically right” with his beliefs about Scripture, loving the religious, supporting the Roman military and leading with charity.  He also was more “liberal” with the way He chose to love:  Jesus fed the hungry, reached out cross-culturally, identified with the poor, loved the religious and fought for the outsider.  , etc.  He chose to live by breaking down walls.  When we break down walls and come together with those who are different than us, we show the world that we are His disciples and that Jesus is who He said He is (John 17).    

5. Live in the “in-between” 

We know a lot lately about not wanting to live in the “upside-down.”  But do you know about living in the “in-between.”  The in-between is that space between the extremes  of faith and politics.  Here’s what I mean.  Take Matthew and Simon.  These are two of Jesus disciples.   Jesus recruited Simon the zealot (essentially and anti-government, religious radical) to be on his team and Matthew (a pledged allegiance to the Roman government employee).  Jesus showed us all that two people on polar opposites of the political spectrum can live and love in community together.  We will always be surrounded by these two sides: those who “share my faith but don’t agree with my politics” and those who “share my political view but don’t agree with my faith.”  How you live in-between will determine how you honor. 

6. “Pump the breaks” on conditional honoring  

We are quick to dismiss others who don’t agree with our political views, parenting views, etc. We seem to have drifted into a conversational norm of “ I will respect you if you respect me but if we disagree then ‘screw you.’”  People are going to disagree with you.  Simply writing them off and calling them a name or putting a label on them doesn’t make us better as a community. Just because you don’t agree with them doesn’t mean they aren’t human.  God wants us to honor all people (1 Peter 2:17).  Honor is not emotional response but is meant to be a humble response.  Even Jesus who was being dishonord by everyone around him who was deserving of honor but received none, chose the higher road and we should too:

“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names.” Philippians 2: 3-9

7. Submission to authorities not subversion of authorities

Imagine being forced to live under a political leadership you didn’t vote for and completely despised.  Some of us would say, “lived it for 8 years” and some would say “living it right now.”  In Daniel, four young and ambitious leaders found themselves living under and working under an administration that was different than what they believed in.  The administration was enforcing rules that was against the convictions these young people believed.  Rather than rebelling and resisting, these young people took a different approach:  they honored their leadership about the expectations, the rules and regulations they didn’t agree with: 

[Daniel] asked the chief of staff for permission not to eat these unacceptable foods. Now God had given the chief of staff both respect and affection for Daniel. …Whenever the king consulted them in any matter requiring wisdom and balanced judgment, he found them ten times more capable (Daniel 1:8-9, 20).

The result of responding the right way gave them more political and relational clout than they ever could have imagined.  Instead of just protesting and screaming at the sky, what if we chose to have rational discourse with those in charge over us?   We may have the right to protest, but is it the right thing to do right now in your disagreement? 

Anything else you would add?

One Way To Navigate the Overwhelming Political Climate

I’m fully aware of what’s happening in our country right now.  How can you not be?  There is a lot of vitriol and division in the hearts of our country.  There’s a lot of anger in the voices of our conversations.  There is a lot of emotion.  As the church, we are called to be peacemakers in times of disagreement. As Christian’s we are empowered to bring unity to division because that’s where God’s blessing is commanded (Psalm 133).  

Our country is severely divided and the church should be one of the places where we bring unity.  And we need unity at a time when we are easily saying and loosely throwing around strong, divisive words like “racist”, “white supremacist”, “fascist”, “bigot”, “hate speech” and other highly charged and offensive words.  While these have been and still are ugly themes in humanity’s past and present, I have to talk about a word that I haven’t heard thrown around amongst all the lively conversations and this word is the word… “honor.” 

“While we can and should feel strongly about our political and social issues as followers of Jesus, we are called to a higher place of authority and respect.”

Cultures and communities can go toxic.  History proves that.   I believe that bringing honor into a situation is one of the ways to cultivate to remove the toxicity and add dignity, consideration and reverence.  Why do I believe this?  Because honor is the culture of heaven.  As a matter of fact, it’s one of the 4 words that is on the “musac” of heaven according to the book of Revelation,   

And then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea. They sang: "Blessing and honor and glory and power belong to the one sitting on the throne and to the Lamb forever and ever."  Revelation 5:13

If you want to make a point in a song, then sing it over and over again.  In other words, honor is a big deal to God.  If it’s on the eternal playlist then it should be on our minds often, too. If so, why do we as Christians find it hard to give honor?  I think part of the reason is we don’t know what honor is.  It’s a lost art in our modern era.  Have you been on your Facebook feed recently?  It doesn’t take long to spot a political or social rant because social media has become the “go-to” place to be dishonorable, to mock and insult those in authority that we disagree with. 

While we can and should feel strongly about our political and social issues as followers of Jesus, we are called to a higher place of authority and respect. Whether we agree or disagree with those around us, in showing honor to others, we are respecting God (1 Samuel 2:30).  Not only is it the right thing to do but it can be one of the most powerful ways to show the world the authenticity of our faith. 

Honoring is hard.  It’s easy to honor others who are honorable.   It’s a lot harder to honor the dishonorable.  If they aren’t worthy of it, we don’t want to show them respect and in many cases we insult them.  God doesn’t put conditions on our honor of others.  As a matter of fact, it’s quite the contrary. Whether from parent to politician, the Bible makes it crystal clear:

Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king. (1 Peter 2:17)

God has made it clear to us in the New Testament that we must honor all people. Not just those we agree with, but everyone. To honor is “to value, see as weighty and precious” and it also carries the meaning of “respect” and “reverence.”  To honor and respect someone is to see them as valuable.  Plain and simple.  If we are ALL considered creations of God, then we are ALL valuable.  Which means even the most offensive of people deserves to be heard and respected.  When we don’t see others as valuable, we feel we have the right to be disrespectful, yell, destroy and hurt others.  If you find yourself thinking you are more valuable than the other on the screen in front of you, across the table near you or next door to you, then you are in danger of being dishonorable and well…kind of a jerk. 

Not only are we to honor everyone, but we are to honor those in charge (… “honor the king” ) Webster defines honor as “to revere, respect; to treat with deference and submission, and perform relative duties to.” From this definition, we see that submission to authority is an aspect of honor as well. To say we honor authority, yet we choose to not practice submission to teachers, police, political powers, parents, etc. then we are missing it, completely. 

“For some reason, there is a Kingdom strength in honor that releases heaven on earth to make a difference than a protest or march ever could.”

We are in a heated political season.  Ok, so the Holiday’s might have been awkward. Your “fox news” family will be sitting next to “I’m with her.”  There is two ways to look at this:  it can be either difficult or you can see this as an opportunity to live countercultural to the typical partisan spin is around us.  I think Christians should be the most spiritually refreshing of all people no matter who is in charge. And here’s why: because the Christian community is positioned to pray for those in charge of our institutions and government.  As long we aren’t being asked to sin against God, following Jesus includes submitting to and praying for all of our public authorities.

Jesus knew how to love and serve the government when they weren’t in charge and feeling the effects of a political power that didn’t seem fair.  During Christ’s life on earth, the New Testament Christians were routinely marginalized, persecuted and even put to death by the Roman state. Even though this was the “normal” for the Jesus’ community, honoring and cooperating with and praying for the Roman officials was part of being a follower of Jesus.  That’s why Peter’s plea to “honor all men” and “honor the king” was the right thing to do and yet so counter-cultural in his day and ours, too.  But it’s hard to honor leaders when they are dishonorable.  Yet, Jesus was not protesting against the government when He didn’t agree but was submitting to all Roman authorities in compliance.  Even when His followers wanted Him to riot because the authorities were being dishonest and unjust, Jesus chose not to resist but to submit to their rule (John 18:11-15).  Even in Peter and Paul’s context, Nero is on the throne and Christians are being thrown to the lions and burned at the stake. It seems like an ideal time to fight back.  But that is not what Peter and Paul teaches the Christians to do. They tell them to submit to the unjust authorities in leadership.  Jesus, Peter and Paul (3 of the most well-known leaders in Christendom) spoke words of honoring those in authority:

Jesus honored by saying: “give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and give to God what belongs to God.”  (Mark 12:17)

Peter honored by saying: “For the Lord’s sake, submit to all human authority—whether the king as head of state, or the officials he has appointed. (1 Peter 2:13-14)

Paul honored by saying: “Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted.  (Romans 13:1-2)

Jesus knew the Kingdom of God was more powerful than the rulers and political climate of this world.  For some reason, there is a Kingdom strength in honor that releases heaven on earth to make a difference than a protest or march ever could.  In the midst of personal and political violence and disagreement, three of Christendom’s most powerful influences (Jesus, Peter and Paul) chose the dignity of others instead of disruption of others.  They choose to bless instead of blame.  They chose honoring others instead of hastling others. 

 As young people, one of the hardest emotions we have to manage is our passion for justice. More than ever we are a generation that desires to “right wrongs” that are happening in the world around us.  And that’s a good thing!  However, there are times when our passion for justice overides our command to honor.  Jesus chose to honor first before bringing justice to the world and we should do the same.  Perhaps we should leave the justice to God because God is leaving  the honoring to us. 

 But I’m fully aware that it’s not as easy as were saying. So, how do we honor those God has put over us when we don’t agree with them?  Here some suggestions: 

Stop labeling each other and start learning from each other

Christians can fall into the trap of dishonoring others whose political beliefs or ideas are different.  Left-leaning Christians engage in rhetoric that labels our right-leaning authorities as anti-poor, anti-woman, anti-immigrant and so on.  Right-leaning Christians can label our democratic friends on the left as anti-capitalist, anti-white, anti-baby, anti-cop, etc.   What if we labeled each other as human beings?  What if we saw each other as creations of God?  Those labels give us a starting point to engage with others that isn’t political but personal to God.  They give us permission to accept each other despite our political positions so we can listen to each other rather than scream at each other.  Pursue the right perspective of each other before pursuing the right to push back against each other.  Your perspective of who you are is the best starting point to engage others where they are at. 

“Pump the breaks” on conditional honoring  

We are quick to dismiss others who don’t agree with our political views, parenting views, etc. We seem to have drifted into a conversational norm of “ I will respect you if you respect me but if we disagree then ‘screw you.’”  People are going to disagree with you.  Simply writing them off and calling them a name or putting a label on them doesn’t make us better as a community. Just because you don’t agree with them doesn’t mean they aren’t human.  God wants us to honor all people (1 Peter 2:17).  Honor is not emotional response but is meant to be a humble response.  Even Jesus who was being dishonord by everyone around him who was deserving of honor but received none, chose the higher road and we should too:

“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names.” Philippians 2: 3-9

Being disagreeable doesn’t mean being dishonorable 

When the actions of your leadership disagrees with your view of what leadership is, you have a choice to make.  Young David, an up-and-coming leader became successful and did everything right with those around him.  Even with those who were in authority over him.  King Saul, a political and spiritual leader that David reported to, chose to be irrational and dysfunctional.  To the point of wanting to kill David.  How would you honor a man who relentlessly sought to kill you? David had an understanding of the authority.  That God puts kings in charge and he knew that God had established making Saul king (1 Sam. 9:15-16). While Saul was his political leader, David’s honor for Saul was seen through is “honor lens” every day.  Every response by David towards Saul’s rants and ravages revealed to others how not only how much David loved God by how much he honored.  David spared Saul's life in the cave (1 Sam. 24:4-22) and again on the field of war while Saul was sleeping (1 Sam. 26:1-12) until finally this irrational ruler was defeated in battle and fell upon his own sword.  David not only grieved his death, prayed and fasted but wrote a song about his fallen leadership (2 Sam. 1:17-27). Instead of recounting all of Saul's weaknesses, the song he wrote actually recounted his honor.  Whenever possible, show respect for those in charge no matter how crazy they can sound (and maybe even write a song about them). 

Engage with maturity don’t expel with immaturity  

It’s hard when we don’t get our own way.  My kids have taught me that.  They throw a tantrum, hit, throw and scream.  That’s what immaturity fosters.  Maturity provokes civility, conversation and peaceful discourse.  When we choose to riot, rebel and resist, it communicates a message to others that is immature.  God wants us to be mature as Christians.  Not just mature but “Christlike.” 

For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps. He never sinned, nor ever deceived anyone.

He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. 1 Peter 2:21-23

It’s tempting to bully behind your keyboard and tweetstorm.  But it would be far more valuable to donate your time, financial contributions or professional skill-sets to an organize your community (life group, small group, facebook group, book club, etc) and find where you can be a resource of information and a steward of conversation. Many people feel like they can’t get involved because they don’t know where to start. Just find a door of opportunity and start the conversation.

Instead of creating walls, create opportunities

Jesus chose to go into difficult places, not avoid them.  He was seen with the marginalized, the broken and the hurting.  He was a friend of drunks, sexual deviants, outcasts, etc.  He was more pro-woman than any political figure in history considering the context of the first century.  He was more “politically right” with his beliefs about Scripture, loving the religious, supporting the Roman military and leading with charity.  He also was more “liberal” with the way He chose to love:  Jesus fed the hungry, reached out cross-culturally, identified with the poor, loved the religious and fought for the outsider.  , etc.  He chose to live by breaking down walls.  When we break down walls and come together with those who are different than us, we show the world that we are His disciples and that Jesus is who He said He is (John 17).    

Live in the “in-between” 

We know a lot lately about not wanting to live in the “upside-down.”  But do you know about living in the “in-between.”  The in-between is that space between the extremes  of faith and politics.  Here’s what I mean.  Take Matthew and Simon.  These are two of Jesus disciples.   Jesus recruited Simon the zealot (essentially and anti-government, religious radical) to be on his team and Matthew (a pledged allegiance to the Roman government employee).  Jesus showed us all that two people on polar opposites of the political spectrum can live and love in community together.  We will always be surrounded by these two sides: those who “share my faith but don’t agree with my politics” and those who “share my political view but don’t agree with my faith.”  How you live in-between will determine how you honor. 

Submission to authorities not subversion of authorities

Imagine being forced to live under a political leadership you didn’t vote for and completely despised.  Some of us would say, “lived it for 8 years” and some would say “living it right now.”  In Daniel, four young and ambitious leaders found themselves living under and working under an administration that was different than what they believed in.  The administration was enforcing rules that was against the convictions these young people believed.  Rather than rebelling and resisting, these young people took a different approach:  they honored their leadership about the expectations, the rules and regulations they didn’t agree with: 

[Daniel] asked the chief of staff for permission not to eat these unacceptable foods. Now God had given the chief of staff both respect and affection for Daniel. …Whenever the king consulted them in any matter requiring wisdom and balanced judgment, he found them ten times more capable (Daniel 1:8-9, 20).

The result of responding the right way gave them more political and relational clout than they ever could have imagined.  Instead of just protesting and screaming at the sky, what if we chose to have rational discourse with those in charge over us?   We may have the right to protest, but is it the right thing to do right now in your disagreement? 

Anything else you would add?

Why Your Will Power Is Never Going To Give You What You're Hoping For

I’m pretty self-sufficient when I need to be.  Take my apple remote for example.  I love my apple remote.  It’s so easy.  It’s got minimal buttons.  It’s got a special spot.  I secretly call my remote “Donatello” and we spend a lot of quality time together. So when I get home and I want to watch Netflix, I expect Donatello to do his job.  Recently Donatello didn’t respond and we got problems.  I’m pressing buttons, pushing the buttons, leaning into the tv, etc.  Finally getting up to actually turn the channel myself.  Perfect…I apparently time traveled back to 1982 when we didn’t have remotes.  I almost woke my son up and had him start to change the channels for me so he could start “earning” his allowance again, when I realized my wife had tapped into the "spirit of Christmas" a little too much and put a “pinecone” in front of my sensor of my tv.  That misalignment of the remote to the TV was all it took for me to lose that connection and manually get up and change the channel wrecking my perfect "blanket burrito" I had tucked myself into for the night.  All I needed to do was realign my remote to the TV and power would have been restored.   I’ve realized when we try to do things in our own strength and will, we keep pressing harder, pushing harder, doing it in our own strength, etc.  A will "powered" by me gets the job done but is there another way?  Absolutely there is. 

Our culture celebrates will power:   I WILL succeed, I WILL survive, I WILL workout, I WILL not give up, I WILL not give in, etc.  But “will power” by God’s definition is different than our culture.  It’s the difference between "determination" and "inspiration."  The will power that our culture tends to celebrate that is found in ourselves is fueled by “determination.” Webster's defines determination as "the act or an instance of making a decision; the condition of being determined; resoluteness; the act or an instance of ending an argument by the opinion ordecision of an authority"...that authority being me.  

But there is another source of will power that is found and fueled by “inspiration.”  Inspiration comes from the word "enspiren" meaning "to fill the mind and heart with grace" or "to inflame or to blow into."  My point…it’s less about “will power” and more about “God’s will.”  What if instead of trying to find your will power to stay pure, devoted and committed, you simply aligned yourself to God’s will power.  I might say it this way: 

“Exchange your will power for God’s will to power.”

Meaning It’s less about "mustering up" and "white knuckling" will power and it’s more about "aligning yourself" and "surrendering yourself" to God’s will to "power" your life forward. 

When we exchange our will power for God’s will to power us this happens:

Our job doesn’t stay a “grind” anymore but we rediscover our purpose and become empowered and excited to make a difference with our 40+ hours a week

Our friendships become opportunities for restoration and affirmation to move each other forward into God’s future for us both

Our purity becomes less of “what” I can’t do and instead “who” I get to spend time with which is a loving God who has a beautiful life of for us to live of freedom and grace

Our family doesn’t become a burden but blessing as we discover we are placed in our families to influence and inspire

“Repentance is turning from sin (our approval of us)  and moving forward into God’s grace (God’s approval of us). ”

This power is best seen in Jesus life.  One of the most potent moments in the Bible is when Jesus is in the Garden and He knows the cross is coming.  Jesus would have grown up seeing crucifixions as a kid.  It was the Roman’s form of capital punishment and many who were in Jerusalem would have known and seen crucifixions.  So when Jesus is in the garden, he probably was recalling the shame, the humiliation and pain that comes from being crucified.  That’s why in the garden we see Jesus in the garden sweating blood and making the agonizing phrase,

"Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine."  Luke 22:42. 

Jesus was wrestling with His own battle of wills.  If He had it His way in that brief moment, His humanity was attempting to override the plan since the beginning of time.  He didn’t want the suffering.  No one would!  Yet He knew it wasn’t His choice.  It was the Father’s will that needed to be accomplished.  Jesus chose in that moment to exchange his human will for God’s Divine will to be done.  Jesus wasn’t overcome with a “holy brainwashing” but He chose in that moment to exchange His will power for God’s will to power Him through the cross.  The bible calls this power “exousia” or "the power of choice."  We see this power best in John when Jesus is revealing to His disciples He is God and that He is choosing to lay down His life so the disciples and all of humanity can have true life,

For this reason the Father loves Me, because I lay down My life that I may take it up again.  No man takes it from me, but I lay it down of Myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received of my Father.  JOHN 10:18

Jesus chose to bend his will to God’s will.  Jesus was fully human and limited.  He modeled what it means to rely on God in difficult moments when you want to choose your way  instead of choosing God’s way.  He was dependent on God for every decision, every choice and every temptation but didn’t sin (Hebrews 4:15).  And we can be too! We can be tempted to live and do things are own way.  At the end of the day, that is sin.  Or in other words, missing God's "mark" or "will" for our lives.  But God gives us a way out to always have a road to choose when faced with the option to choose us or God:  

The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.  1 Corinthians 10:13

Isn’t that repentance?  It’s turning from sin (our approval of us)  and moving forward into God’s grace (God's approval of us). The best way to overcome the temptation and choose God's will is to follow the one who always overcame temptation and always chose God's will.  That's Jesus.  So seek Christ.  Worship.  Pray. Fill your room with the praises of Christ.  Seek the cross.  Love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. I guarantee it is a lot harder to “miss God’s will for your life”  when you’ve got Jesus Culture playing in your room with your Bible on your bed and a Scripture graphic on your phone.  Our will is going to do everyting in it’s power ot sabotauge us and derail us from what God’s plan is for us.  Our weaknesses, pride and lusts of life will get us off track.  So choose God’s will.  Pursue God’s will. 

If lust says “I want it” then

let pursuit say “I want God.”  

If pride says, “I got this on my own”

then let pursuit say “I got God and He’s with me.”  

If weakness says “I can’t do it, I wanna give up”

then let pursuit say, “God can do it" because of Grace and His strength made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). 

“It’s less about ‘mustering up’ and ‘white knuckling’ will power and it’s more about ‘aligning yourself’ and ‘surrendering yourself’ to God’s will to ‘power’ your life forward.”

I’ve said this before but what if we saw Holiness as not "what I can't do" ... but "who I'm with." God says "be Holy as I am Holy" not "do holy like I do Holy" (1 Peter 1:15-16; Leviticus 20:26). You become like who you spend the most time with.  So spend time with God in prayer, in church, in community life, in settings where God is lifted up.  The world says it’s about "what's in you" but God says it's about "who's with you."  

One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him...." Psalm 27:4

“What if we saw Holiness as not “what I can’t do” but instead as “who I’m with.” ”

It’s not just about stopping bad behaviors  but it's also about starting new ones. So make a choice today to "exchange your will power for God's will to power you."  

Any other thoughts you would add?

Stop Giving Up On Faith To Find Sex

I wish the church would talk more about sex.  It’s in the Bible.  We are quick to talk about how much God hates beer or how much God loves Chris Tomlin-err-I mean praises from His people.  But God loves sex.  Sounds weird and you might seem weirded out.  Just hold on and take a breath.  I'm saying sex is created by God for us and we aren’t jumping at the chance to talk about what a healthy sexual relationships looks like in the context of a thriving, God-centered marriage.    Here’s what I have been talking about in my current contexts in my own conversations about sex:

The world CORRUPTS sex and perverts it.

Religion CONTEMPTS sex and shames it.

God CELEBRATES sex and affirms it.

So why don’t we create space in our relationships so we can celebrate what God has given us in for our community with honesty about what God created and designed us for?  God gave us a sex drive.  Plain and simple.   God does not want to mute your sex drive like the "pings" on our iphone but instead God desires for you to master it and direct it in a positive direction to show the world how good God is and why God can be trusted with our sex lives.

“ Our sexuality is something that we have in common with every human being…despite their faith background or belief system. ”

This invitation for us to engage conversations, whether it’s opposite sex or same sex attraction, is our chance to express the love of Christ, the acceptance of God in the midst of shame, the belonging to community and the restoration of creation back to the creator. 

In our society, how you feel determines who you are.  That is not only dangerous but also completely not true.  How you feel doesn’t dictate who you are.  If you have a feeling of “I hate them” doesn’t mean you should live out a lifestyle of hate towards that person or situation the rest of your life.  You are supposed to forgive. 

“In our society, how you feel determines who you are...that is not only dangerous but also completely not true. ”

Just because you feel like a “slut” after an unwanted sexual encounter doesn’t mean that’s who you are.  The power of forgiveness in Jesus compels you to be forgiven and from that moment forward compel you to live a life of waiting for the right person in the context of marriage.   

Just because you feel "attracted to the same sex" doesn’t mean you’re gay.   You may have a longing to be with other guys because you lacked acceptance and affirmation from other men in your life.  Nothing wrong with wanting to be with guys that you can be yourself with and be vulnerable with in the context of an intimate healthy friendship.  But culture takes that "void feeling" and twists it into you think you need to be sexually intimate with the same sex to feel affirmation and validation.  No, a healthy community will affirm you and remind you who you are who God design you to be.

“This desire for intimacy is so strong that it compels some to give up on their Christian beliefs to find intimacy.  That’s why casual sex, living together, etc are higher than it’s ever been with those who profess a Christian faith.  ”

Just because you feel like you "love them and it just seems right" doesn't mean that you move in with them.  Of course you will feel emotionally connected to your significant other but don't alter your life by moving in with them just because of how you feel.  True love and emotional connection is an intentionality that sets you up for a long sustainability through marriage, commitment, healthy community with similar values on what love and marriage is like, etc.  

You have to remember that your feelings and your temptations are not your identity.  The world says to “look inside you” to find out who you are.  Instead, look to your creator and see how God desires you to function.  We as Christians look to a point outside of ourselves to measure and validate our feelings.  Tim Keller attacks this ideas by saying, “our culture presses its’ members to believe you have to ‘be yourself’ that sexual desires are crucial to a personality identity that any curving strong sexual desires leads to psychological damage.’”   Keller is exposing the lie that to feel satisfied you have act on your feelings to find yourself and be yourself.  We can’t rely on our feelings as the only reliable source to identify who we are sexually.  We have to look to who God made us to be to fully understand how we can function in a healthy way.  Culture brings chaos to our sexuality but Christ brings a simplicity and an order to a very complicated construct. 

Someone said recently, “We can live without sex, but we can’t live without intimacy.”  Intimacy with the next generation is a potent wood the midst of severe abandonment with divorce and lack of fathers making  true intimacy an apologetic that our culture would respond powerfully to. We have to be aware that there is a longing for intimacy with other people which is felt the strongest when expressed through sex.  Intimacy is emotional, relational and most of the times sexual. Our Biblical faith has a sexual ethic that is very clear:  sex is created by God between a man and a woman in a covenantal marriage.  We must resist the desire to rush to the sexual intimacy part of our lives prematurely or we create dysfunction.

“You have to remember that your feelings and your temptations are not your identity.  ”

Christians are looking for Biblical ways to satisfy the desire for lifelong companionship.  This desire for intimacy is so strong that it compels some to give up on their Christian beliefs to find intimacy.  That's why casual sex, living together, etc are higher than it's ever been with those who profess a Christian faith.  The Christian community must walk with those who are struggling sexually and affirm healthy relationships through positive and healthy environments. When you are aware of all of the sexual dysfunction and longing for intimacy, you can start unpacking all of the sexual assumptions of our culture, you have an opportunity to show the world a God who cares not just about our future but the very practical part of life like our sex lives.

Throughout my ministry career I have worked in the restaurant world.  One of the staff who I've had the privilege to work with who I’ll call Kelsie, knew I was a pastor and found it fascinating that I was working as a server.  She asked me one day at work that was both an honest question but also seemed to monitor “my reaction” as a Christian and spiritual leader by asking, “Alan, my friend with benefits stopped having sex with me and now I don’t have someone to meet my needs…what should I do?”  I had two choices in that moment on that Friday Night as we were closing the restaurant.  The first could be to point out how sex outside of marriage is wrong and that she should turn her life over to Jesus (which are sincere motives for any follower of Christ but in a“right idea wrong execution” kind of way).  The other choice was to begin a dialogue and focus on her “intimacy” and using the context of her “sexuality” as a place to dialogue with her and asking questions like: “What is it about this guy that you like?”; “Why haven’t you made a commitment to him?”; “How is your relationship not fulfilling to you?”; “Give me one quality of an ideal guy for you”; etc.  Then I began to talk about how my relationship works with Heidi and I for 19 years as we choose to put each others needs before our own and how that is modeled in the Bible, loving and respecting, waiting till marriage for sex, etc.  This conversation moved me to dialogue with her further about her faith.  I found out her parents were involved in a cult and she was very hesitant towards Christians and faith.  I got to talk to her about Jesus and she became one of my favorite people at work. 

It’s not “just about sex” with this generation of young believers and non-believers but about true intimacy.  How do I connect and be vulnerable with someone?  How can someone fulfill my needs and should they fulfill my needs?, etc.   Christians who are living out a Biblical sexual ethic are real examples of what God intended from the beginning.  A true understanding of what you believe what the Bible says about sex and also understanding the pain bad sexual relationships can cause makes you a beautiful example of obedience on display and one of the best expressions of evangelism in our culture.

“The Christian community must walk with those who are struggling sexually and affirm healthy relationships through positive and healthy environments. ”

The enemy in our culture distorts some our relationships to a place that some of us eventually believe that “to be ‘intimate with someone you have to have sex with them.”  There are relationships in the Bible that were very intimate but that were not sexual:  David and Jonathan (1 Samuel 18:1); Ruth and Naomi (Ruth 1:16); Paul and Barnabus (Acts 11 & 13); Mary and Mary (Mark 16:1-10); Peter, James and John (Matthew 17:1), etc.  Intimacy is critical for spiritual formation and spiritual forward motion but not all intimacy needs a sexual bond. 

How you manage your “sexual appetite” determines your community success and spiritual success.  You have sexual desires given to you by God that is constantly being stirred up.  Culture is constantly promoting a variety of sexual activities and we have to learn to manage our sex drives as followers of Christ for not just our own spiritual and community health but to be an example to others in culture.   When we can talk about our sexuality in healthy faith communities, it sets up the new young Christian to have a strong ability to overcome the temptation, not if but when the temptation comes.  The reality is this:  Whoever teaches you about sex first, their advice and information becomes the foundation.  That foundation is now the measuring piece against “new information.”  This is why it’s so critical to empower pastors and parents to dialogue early about this critical developmental stage in the life of young believers. 

As we said earlier, we are all sexual beings.  Our sexuality is something that we have in common with every human being…despite their faith background or belief system.  That’s why I really believe our sexuality in culture is prime to be the new apologetic.   We as followers of Christ can use our own sexuality as common space and common opportunity to talk about God, our origin story, our identity, how we relate, and bring a place to speak beautifully about Jesus with others.  

5 Ways To Make Your Life Less Complicated

I just want to find the balance between work and home.  School and family.  Church and friends.  Name the conflict and you have probably desired the balance needed to make peace with your competing priorities..  But did you find it?  Did you sustain it?  The answer is probably no. And if you did…it didn’t take long to lose your balance again.    

Maybe the reason we don’t find sustainable balance is because the idea of “balance” doesn’t exist.  It doesn’t exist because I would argue that life can’t be balanced. I look in the Bible, and there is no reference to trying to find and maintain balance.   I look to Jesus and many actually thought he was out of balance on many occasions. 

I am going to burst a traditional bubble here.  Although it’s no question God is of upmost importance and his family meant a lot to Jesus, He didn’t seem to live with the mantra of “God first; family second; and work third.” I don’t know where we got this idea but Jesus didn’t seem to live this way.  Jesus’ family was not always more important than His ministry. Three Gospels give us a snapshot into the life of Jesus when He is teaching great crowds and his mother and brothers show up and ask him to finish ministry and come home.  See the Scriptures below:

 “As Jesus was speaking to the crowd, his mother and brothers were outside, wanting to talk with him. Someone told Jesus, “’Your mother and your brothers are outside, and they want to speak to you.’” Matthew 12:46-47 (NLT).

Upon hearing this request, Jesus refuses to even come to the door. Why? Because He was in the middle of His work! But that didn’t mean that in the middle of critical ministry Jesus wasn’t aware of the needs of His family.  While on the cross, Jesus was very concerned about the care of his mother and his closest disciple:

“When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Dear woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” John 19:26-27 (NIV).

My point is this:  instead of shuffling between two competing loyalties that must be balanced, what if we saw them as a complementary rhythm.  Instead of trying to priortitize the “pie slices” of your life what if we made it about the whole pie.   What if we moved it from being “Jesus then family then work” to being simply Jesus and me, family, work, etc.  Because if it’s “Jesus and…” then my life simplifies into one simple pursuit of Jesus.  Jesus becomes my whole life and not a slice of life.  Because if I simply make Jesus my focus, then Jesus gets my attention and my family, work, ministry etc automatically gets my affection ALL at once.   

Choose these 5 words to simplify your life:

1. Cadence (not balance)

God gives us a cadence or in other words a “rthythm” and it’s called grace.  As mentioned earlier, there is a beautiful rhythmic flow to life when we discover that when I simply love Jesus that I acquire a “pace” with life that doesn’t leave me stressed out or fatigued.  When I think of the different parts of my life that I need to manage, it can become overwhelming to me.  The difference is that I start trying to maintain balance with God rather than walking with God.  If I’m not walking with the cadence of Jesus, the important parts of my life become annoyances, inconveniences and distractions.  In other words, my relationships start to annoy me, my ministry becomes an inconvenience and my job becomes a distraction.  Nothing seems right. But there's good news when Jesus gives us rhythm.  Jesus says it best, 

28-30 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  Matthew 11:28-30

2. Synergize (not prioritize)

Priorities are real.  They are everywhere.  When it comes to key areas of self, work, relationships, church, family, etc. these areas are not just uniquely connected, and are also at times uniquely in opposition to each other at times.  While being loyal to these priorities, it’s critical we cooperate with these priorities. This synthesization of these commitments is not impossible.  Jesus doesn't want you to be concerned about your priorities because He knows what you need and what to do:

“If I’m not walking with the cadence of Jesus, the important parts of my life become annoyances, inconveniences and distractions-my relationships start to annoy me, my ministry becomes an inconvenience and my job becomes a distraction.  ”

Don’t be concerned about what you eat, drink, etc…don’t worry about such things.  These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world but your Father already knows your needs.  Seek the Kingdom fo God above all else and He will give you everything you need.”  Luke 12:29-31. 

God puts your priorities in order by saying, “above all else.”  Many things trying to get our attention but there is one that is far ahove them all (Ephesians 1:21) so when you seek the one thing he gives you everyting. 

3. Harmonize (not equalize)

Harmony is when things are in agreement.  Think music for a second.  It’s not one note but different notes that are exclusive but come together to make a beautiful sound.  No great composer chooses to give equal time to each note in the scale.  The composer chooses to position the notes together so they can work together to create a moving melody.  The best harmony comes from alignment to the melody and that melody is the Father’s will (Luke 2:49).  When Jesus had competing priotrities of family, ministry and life, the Josheph and Mary heard noise but Jesus made a beautiful harmony that was God’s perfect will for everyone.

“So I’ve stopped competing and started simply seeking because when I “seek first” I live a life of “first things first” which miraculously orders my life​​​​​​​.                                                    ”

4. Concession (not competition)

We love healthy competition…but not when it’s between two things we love.  Don’t make me choose between what I love to do and who I love to be with.  Because sometimes it simply can’t be either or.  I love to be a father and I love to be with my wife.  Both are important but don’t make me choose between them.  And why should we…they both are family so I "concede" and choose family because when I choose family I get both.  That's concession and the same is when following Jesus.   So I’ve stopped competing and started seeking.  Jesus made it simple by saying this, “Seek first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you" (Matthew 6:33).  So I’ve stopped competing and started simply seeking.  Because when I “seek first” I live a life of “first things first” which miraculously orders my life.                                                    

5. Faithfulness (not busyness)

We confuse busyness with progress.  We think activity is productivity.  Not always true.  In a culture that values action, Christ is more concerned about finding you faithful than busy.  Consider yourself blessed when you have a wife, kids, ministry, job, friends, etc.  These gifts are not responsibilities to be balanced but opportunities to be faithful.   Give yourself permission to be out of balance.  Whether you are a student, mom, entrepreneur, coach, teacher, father, pastor, leader…give yourself permission to be out of balance and respect the season. At the end of the day, success is obedience to God in it’s simplest form so be a faithful person not a busy person. 

3 Ways To Start and Keep Your God-Given Originality

Originality.

No one loves fake.  To be called a “phony” is not a compliment.  Even the word “bogus” sounds like an unwanted and sticky unknown "something" that should be flushed down the toilet.  But we love the words authenticity, humility and transparency.  While these words are critical and necessary, I would argue that originality is the most.

While living in DC I had the privilege of seeing many originals by many artists:  Leonardo da Vinci, Rembrandt van Rijn, Vincent Van Gogh, Claude Monet, Picasso, etc.  What made these moments significant to all of us in attendance is they are "originals."  They were authentic, genuine creations by these famous creators that were collected and on display for us to admire.  A few doors down there was also a giant, well-lit room with large crowds in it with wall to wall creations on display.  I love Claude Monet...and here there were many for me to look at and admire.    The only difference is that these were not real like the priceless paintings in Monet exhibit but replica’s.  These copies were souvenirs to collect to hang on dorm room walls, apartments and as inspiration for aspiring future artists.  Being an original makes you valuable.  Copies are cheap for a reason.

“Don’t be conformed to this world but be transformed to be a unique translation of God’s heart and voice in the world. ”

You can be a masterpiece or you can be mass-produced.  That’s why there is nothing more special to God than for you to be the you because that is what God is waiting for and what the world is looking for!  Original comes from the Latin word meaning, “the first in time.”  We could say it this way, “one of a kind.”  No one will ever be like you.  Your DNA is unique.  Your fingerprints only belong to you and no one else.  You were made to be different; to stand apart; to be a genuine expression of the creative mind and heart of God.  In a world that seems to celebrate conformity, God desires you to resist against conformity.  He wants you to be yourself!  Don’t be conformed to this world but be transformed to be a unique translation of God’s heart and voice in the world.  

While that sounds noble and powerful, being an original isn’t as easy as we think.  If we stopped to ask this question how would we answer:  Is this a safe place for me to be myself?  I think this is a question we will all ask ourselves eventually if we haven’t asked it yet.  This doesn’t mean it’s the right question to ask…but nonetheless it’s a critical question that we are asking when we are in a meeting, in the classroom, in the car, etc.  This is a question we must ask if we are going to be the original God has called us to be. 

If being an original is a good thing, then how do we start and keep our originality?

3 WAYS TO START AND KEEP YOUR GOD-GIVEN ORIGINALITY: 

 

1. BE CREATIVE:  Reclaim creativity by resisting the status quo. 

Sometimes we have to violate what we know as the standard to discover a new standard.  This misbehavior towards “the traditional” creates “a new normal.”  So be unconventional.  Be unusual.  Be unique.  Be “you-nique” because God thinks you are.  God says in Psalm 139:13-14, “I have been amazingly and miraculously made.  Your works are miraculous, and my soul is fully aware of this.”  You are a miracle.  You are amazing.  You are the first good idea.  From you come all the good (and bad) ideas necessary for you to be who you were meant to be and to do what God has called you to do.  Your good and bad ideas are a collective masterpiece of expressions that show the world there’s no one like you. 

“Maybe it’s less about being the first one with the beginning idea but it’s about being the one who has a better idea. ”

Adam Grantm from his book, Originals: How Non-Conformists Change the World, says this, “Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.”  You are worth keeping.  Your creativity is worth sharing.  Creativity isn’t perfection it’s inspiration. Inspiration comes from the Latin word “spirare” which means “to breathe.”  Inspiration is God breathing into you the creativity you need to break out.  Maybe it’s less about being the first one with the beginning idea but it’s about being the one who has a better idea.  The root of creativity is being able to clash instead of conform.  George Bernard Shaw says, “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”

“Acting now when you fear what happens next sets you apart.”

2. BE VULNERABLE:  Openness is bravery. 

Vulnerability Isn’t weak to others but wonderful to others. I repeat, vulnerability doesn’t mean that you’re weak, it means that you’re brave enough to embrace the reality that you don’t have it all together but trust a God who holds it all together.  Authenticity reveals "this is who I am."  Vulnerability exposes "this is who I'm not."  Your vulnerability shapes your originality.  I’m great at putting on a great exterior.  But I’m bad at letting others look "under the hood" and see the dysfunction underneath.  But as I get older, I realize that being vulnerable with people is one of the most “freeing joys” that I have experienced with another person.   That’s why trying to adjust yourself according to who and what others want you to be is the exact opposite of freedom and it’s the least joyful.  When we try to be someone else to everyone else it’s simply wrong.  Because when we hide the “undesirable” parts of our lives, we are building our lives on a façade than a foundation.  Like a movie set, facades are shaky, flimsy and have an appearance but are just plywood and plastic.  Foundations are the real thing and when Christ is your foundation, then you have all the permission in the world to be yourself.  We are all deserving of love exactly as we because if Christ loves us and accepts us as we are then we should also (Romans 8:38-39). 

“vulnerability doesn’t mean that you’re weak, it means that you’re brave enough to embrace the reality that you don’t have it all together but trust a God who holds it all together.  ”

3. BE RISKY:   Sometimes it takes more than one time. 

When you fail you still keep doing it and then you become great at what you do. I would argue, failure is not even trying to get back up, but just quitting. You could have been so close, but you said, "this isn't going to work" so we give up.  Proverbs 24:16, says it like this, “ The righteous may fall seven times but still get up…” Most people give up but originality stand up...and take the risk.  Your commitment to see it through even when you fail puts you in a better position to see it through for your future.   Acting now when you fear what happens next sets you apart.  So, do it afraid and watch God move.   Consider Shakespeare: we’re most familiar with a small number of his classics, forgetting that in the span of two decades, he produced 37 creative, written works.  Mozart composed over 600 pieces before his death at 35 and Bach over a 1000 in his lifetime!  Picasso’s creative legacy is composed of over 17,800 paintings, sculptures, ceramics, and drawings, not to mention prints, rugs, and tapestries.  It’s less about you being perfect and more about you being willing to fail.  Because the more you fail, the more successful you become. 

I refuse to do this and maybe you should too

It’s possible to have a church that has good speeches, good music ensambles and good non-profit organization.  I won’t work there, build there or stay there.  I refuse to do Christianity without Christ.  I refuse to do church without power.  Otherwise I'm a manager simply running a non-profit organization.  While some do that well, tha'ts not what I am meant to do.  That would be a burden to me.  We weren't meant to burden a profession but to build a Kingdom.  God’s Kingdom. God’s Kingdom is not based on what we consume but what consumes us:

For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.”  Romans 14:17

When the Holy Spirit takes over our lives, there are clear distinctions of what matters and what doesn’t to God.  There are clear distinctions of what God-centered, Holy Spirit infused leaders look and act like and there are clear distinctions of what “me-centered”, Holy Spirit Insuffiecient leaders look and act like.  The church of Corinth in the Book of 1 Corinthians had the same problem.  There were many teachers, good speech writers, brilliant communicators but lacking the experience of the power of God that endorsed Jesus and his followers.  See the Scripture below: 

14 I am not writing these things to shame you, but to warn you as my beloved children. 15 For even if you had ten thousand others to teach you about Christ, you have only one spiritual father. For I became your father in Christ Jesus when I preached the Good News to you. 16 So I urge you to imitate me. 17 That’s why I have sent Timothy, my beloved and faithful child in the Lord. He will remind you of how I follow Christ Jesus, just as I teach in all the churches wherever I go. 18 Some of you have become arrogant, thinking I will not visit you again.19 But I will come—and soon—if the Lord lets me, and then I’ll find out whether these arrogant people just give pretentious speeches or whether they really have God’s power. 20 For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God’s power. 21 Which do you choose?  1 Corinthians 4:14-15

God called them out.  The congregation in Corinth had "arrogant leaders" with "pretentious speeches."  Some versions of the Bible call these leaders “puffed up.”  And God is concerned and speaks to Paul to “do something about it.”  

“As spiritual leaders to the next generation, let’s be less “informational firehoses” to those we are leading and be more “inspirational fires” to those who are following.  ”

So what does God do?  God makes a distinction in verse 15 by using these terms:  “teachers” and “fathers”.  In our time, families are fragile, relationships shallow and denominations are becoming more obsolete by the generation.  There has never been a time to find your friends who value what you value, your tribe to find your mission and a family to find your father (not gender specifc).  Denominations compel us to gather around truths to form factions but fathers compel us to gather around truths to find families.

“In a world that values information for the taking we choose to value investment for the making.  ”

Good spiritual leaders can spot potential a mile away.  Prophetic leaders call out the potential in others more than the opportunity for others.  Opportunities are fleeting for people but potential is the foundation in people.  Paul sees the potential and molds him into not just a great man but a spiritual son.  Timothy isn’t seen as part of an evangelistic formula for the church but part of an eternal family in the church.   He becomes a son... an extension of family.  Timothy isn't just a mentee but a model of what Kindom power can look like.  There is so much trust in Timothy that Paul can send his "son in the faith" to show an entire city what the Kingdom of God can look like.  Paul isn't sending a book of doctrinal truths but a brotherhood of sons to represent to the church who God is, what power can do and what family can look like.  Which compels God to make a a stunning and clarifying separation in the Scriptures here to help people in the church recalibrate from “puffed up teachers” to “powered up fathers.” To remind us (at the end of 1 Corinthians 4) That the Kingdom of God is not just talk but power.

“We weren’t meant to burden a profession but to build a Kingdom.”

Maybe this is my plea:   As spiritual leaders to the next generation, let’s be less “informational firehoses” to those we are leading and be more “inspirational fires" to those who are following.  Remember verse 20, "the Kingdom is not in Word but power."  The original language means it's not about "logos" but about "dunamis."  There seems to be a lot of teachers who were good at providing a lot of words to people but lacking power.  We live in an age of a lot of words on a screen...in a world with a lot of information.  And it's easily accessible.  I can find the greek word for donkey or the history of the Post-It Note in a matter of 10 seconds.  We aren't lacking information.  In a time and a world of "information" there is something that is spiritually potent about "impartation."  Impartation is from the Latin word,  impartīre, which is made up of two words.  The first word means“in” and the second word means "a portion or division of a whole that is separate or distinct piece, fragment, fraction, or section.”  In other words impartation means to put a distinct piece of you, your mission, vision, values and experience in someone else.  You can give people a piece of information or you can give them a portion to be put in them.  Mentorship, cohorts and families have never been so important to people.  In a world that values information for the taking we choose to value investment for the making.  In a world that longs for belonging and family, we choose to be fathers with families.   

Which do you choose?

#blunt on the Presence of God

I have a mandate that is:  "I won’t go unless you go with me, God” (Exodus 33:15).  So to do things without God "in it" doesn't make sense as a Christian.  Stop climbing career ladders, dating random people,  and playing "Bible roulette."  Instead pursue a calling and not a career.  Set your standards for finding that future someone and don't settle.  Stop reading the Bible and start letting the Bible read you by letting God speak to you.  The greatest expression of the presence of God is Emmanuel.  God with us.  The greatest event of all time that divides all time is when God came to be with us for all time (Matthew 1:23; Hebrews 4:16). So doing life apart from God has never been God's mission so don't let it be yours.  If God's presence is boring it's not God's fault.  Maybe it's ours.  When you truly experience the presence of God you won’t want to be anywhere else or with anyone else.  One day with God is better than a 1000 other days doing a 1000 other things with a 1000 other people (Psalm 84:10). God’s presence is our preference.  Jesus is our greatest need and our greatest fulfillment.  When our surroundings get us busy and our commitments get us working, we will fight to simplify our lives and focus on this one thing:  to sit at the feet of the one who called us (Luke 10:42), then everything we were doing doesn’t matter because the one who puts the planets into orbit stops our movement for His enjoyment.  When you're with God, there's a joy that is full and not lacking and an enjoyment that the world can never match (Psalm 16:11).  There's meaning that goes deeper than any person on earth can provide.  God has as many thoughts towards you as the shore at your last beach party (Psalm 139:17-18). So simply grab one thought about you from God and don't let it go.  Then grab another.  God not only knows your name but speaks your name (John 10:3).  God not only knows your future but speaks it (Jeremiah 1:5).  We spend a lot by having others tell us who we are and what we are made of.  Instead, spend your life on having God tell you who you are what you're made of by knowing God more.  It’s in the presence of God that miracles are found, miracles abound, wisdom accrues, forgiveness flourishes, battles are won and purpose is found.  In God's presence there is no more sorrow, pain, sin or darkness.  Why? Because God is joy, healing, forgiveness and light.  So when you are experiencing brokenness and wrongdoing...run to God.  When you seek God you will find God (Jeremiah 29:13). 

A MESSAGE TO THE OLDER GENERATION: STOP MAKING FUN OF MILLENNIALS

Stop making fun of millennials.  There I said it.  Millennials have been given names such as “snowflake”, “hipster”, “safe spacers”, “crybabies”, etc.  The older generation has said 20-somethings are lazy, narcissistic and entitled.   These phrases are not only broad statements but it’s insulting.  If you watch TV, the news, and other outlets, you can observe millennials to be the punch line of jokes lately.  Even a new viral Instagram account called Millennials of New York , pokes fun at 20-somethings living in Manhattan.  It’s all in good fun and of course and it’s OK to laugh once in a while to ease the tension between the generations who are having difficulty understanding each other.  Now, the older generation is not free from ridicule either.  Millennials tend to perceive the those over them as:  out of touch, unable to listen, “set in their ways”, judgmental, too corporate, etc.  So let’s stop being frustrated and start getting serious about what the next generation’s contribution can mean to our churches and our community. 

Millennials have so much to offer our church community.  They are energetic, tech-savvy, and eager to make a difference. They have time, influence, passion and vision to make their lives count and your organization stronger.   Unfortunately many older leaders, with good intentions, do not know how to harness this young energy or unleash the potential in these young leaders. This lack of understanding between these two generations leads to frustration with the older generation and discouragement with the younger and can lead to discontentment in their careers and resentment towards the church.  This disconnect creates a gap between millennials and the older generation which gets filled with phrases about the church like:

 “It’s not authentic.”

“It’s too corporate.” 

“it seems so political

“I feel like I can’t be myself.”

“They only care about buildings.”

 “It’s too judgmental.” 

These statements are not true about church or what church was meant to be.  The church is supposed to be a place where: “You can be yourself”; “feel like a family”; “be who God made you to be”; “you can come as you are!”; “believe our building to be a home base to save the world”; etc.  This is the truth of what the church should be and this is the heart of healthy, sincere, older leadership.  

There is a disconnect. 

There is a gap between older generation and the younger generation.  We can fill in the gap with assumptions, false emotions and name-calling or we can fill it in with the truth.    Psalm 145:4-6 says this about how older and younger generations should work together:

One generation shall praise Your works to another, And shall declare Your mighty acts. On the glorious splendor of Your majesty And on Your wonderful works, I will meditate. Men shall speak of the power of Your awesome acts, And I will tell of Your greatness. -Psalm 145:4-6

So let’s tell this next generation how great God is and how we can learn from each other.  Let’s ”praise God’s works to another” and celebrate what God is doing across the earth. Let’s refuse to dismiss the next generation and choose to bring us closer, work with millennials and see them become the next generation leading the world closer to Jesus.  

One of the greatest generational  tragedies in the Bible is when Solomon dies, and his son, Rehoboam, takes over the Kingdom.  He’s a young King preparing to give his inauguration speech. This is his moment to lead, to inspire and be someone who has the platform and the presence to bring a nation together under new political power.  He consults the older leadership of the generation prior to him, those who served his father Solomon and his grandfather, David.  Then he consults the younger leadership, his friends and entourage, etc.  Who does this young king listen to:  

“The king answered the people harshly, for he forsook the advice of the elders which they had given him, 14 and he spoke to them according to the advice of the young men.” 1 Kings 12:8

The young King, set up for leadership, poised to lead the next generation into triumph, chose to disregard the advice of the older generation and the result was a Kingdom divided.  The older generation separated themselves and the younger generation applauded themselves.  The result was a nation that never came back together.

 So how do we avoid creating a damaging divide between generations?  Working well with millennials.   

10 WAYS TO WORK WELL WITH MILLENNIALS:

1.  Be flexible.

The millennial generation has been shown flexibility through their entire lives, from their schedules as children, their family structures being shaken up, to how schools and universities function today, etc. Promoting rigid work environments forcing millennials to adhere to a strict office policies with no flexibility is a quick way to lose young staff. Use technology to inspire your millennials for greater work output. For example: Instead of getting frustrated at the phones in your millennials hands, give them a productive way to use their phones to benefit your church.  Put training online for your team to participate in instead of meeting in a sterile office, do a 10 minuteonline search for creative ideas at your church’s next creative meeting, etc.  Creating a system of flexibility when it comes to work rules appeals to this generation's preference to resist rigid work systems and practices.  Of course, there are concerns when it comes to millennials abusing these types of privileges. However, your drive isn’t to “prevent abusing privileges” but “inspire creativity and incite motivation” in your organization and leadership.  So choose to see motives and intent first before you see their motions and actions.   

2.  Give them Permission to fail.

Millennials will fail.  They don’t have the life experience or the maturity as the older generation does.  But there's the problem:  older leadership tends to give mundane tasks until they “earn” their worth and serve their time. From a generation that wants it “now” that takes incredible patience and process that some millennials won’t wait around for, unfortunately.  Millennials are more tech savvy and innovative than we give them credit for. So help them reach their potential now by giving them responsibility earlier to help them discover their capacity.  Give them a seat at the tables where key decisions are made.  We need to stop underestimating the next generation and start understanding the next generation.  When we do, they will show us they got what it takes even though it’s a little unrefined.  Realize the question isn’t “IF they fail’” but “HOW will you help them recover” when they do?  Give them permission to make mistakes and when they make one…don’t hold it so much against them.  As a leader be less dismissive and more developmental with those around you because people were patient with you so shouldn't you be patient with them?    Let them fail “forward” and watch them become your best employee.  Many millennials came from “helicopter parents” who constantly told them they could do no wrong. This obviously doesn’t fly in the real world. It is inevitable that young leaders will make many mistakes as they grow. Churches can tend to focus on the negative rather than noticing the good things young staff members are accomplishing.  Focus on the good they are doing and let them become more confident as someone on your team.

3. Practice reverse mentoring.

We know we have a lot to give millenials and show them as the next generation.  But millenials can also  teach us a thing or two.  Millenials can teach us how to expand the reach of our churches.  For example,  What if we leveraged the power of their gift of online connectivity to bring robust excitement to our church and organization to resource, to create and navigate a strong online presence, to upgrade our technical systems, to create a social media platform and make our organization known online, etc.  Their superpower is leveraging the internet so “let them loose” and watch your organization become seen and heard like never before.  Millennials can show us how to connect more effectively with the next generation.  Because they are more tech savvy than any other generation ever,  iPhones, laptops, iPads, gaming systems, apps are just normal. If you want a response, text first, then call. Or direct message first. Or send a Facebook message. What you see as the older generation as “insincere or shallow” is normal to a millennial. So connect as often as you can.   Millennials have grown up with access to the most information in history.   Millennials can teach us a lot about what culture is thinking.  Ask them about what they value, how they think about critical topics such as racism, same-sex attraction, abortion, living together, etc.  Millennials are cultural landscape experts.   When was the last time you asked for input from a millennial into your speech, sermon or public event? Let them speak and you listen…really listen. Collect and use that dialogue to build sermons, drive community life discussions and compel you to change your ideas on how things could and should work.  Even young David told the older Saul that his armor didn’t work for David’s battles (1 Samuel 17:39).   So let the younger generation try out their armor and see what they can do.  I’m sure it never crossed Saul’s mind that a slingshot could defeat an army.  Sometimes we put too much trust in our "armor mentorship" and not enough in the next generations mentorship.  If Saul got mentored in “Slingshot 101” then maybe we could too.  So when they challenge “your armor”, just let them take up their slingshot.  Because they may be the giant killer you’ve been waiting for. 

4.  Stop micromanaging and start macro-trusting.

Millennials need permission and space to for them to thrive on their own terms at times.  Micromanaging the workflow of this next generation of leadership has potential to stifle their passion and dull their creativity.  Start empowering them and give them the resources, time and the place to work.  Once they are empowered they will thrive and you will not be disappointed but  impressed.  I have the privilege to be around experienced, veteran leaders who are incredible leaders in their field.  But I’ve  also been around some leaders and churches  who are afraid of letting go of their power and control. They hire young team members because they’re cheaper or  easier to manage perhaps but  they refuse to allow these new millennial hires to participate in decisions that matter. The older generation can be control freaks. It’s time we took some risks on these young leaders and allow them to experience the one thing that equips a person to really become a leader: responsibility. That means we need to be risk-takers. So get to know them, learn to trust them and trust them by delegating projects and ministry  to them so they can earn the right to be followed.  

5.  Leverage their passion for personal mission. 

Here’s what I mean: They are not interested in climbing ladders but making a difference.  Give them a calling and not a career.  Give them purpose to manage not portfolios to manage.  Career trajectories are not the same anymore and millennials like options.  So give them some.  Working and serving at the same job for 30 years and collecting pension is not important to them as it was to you.  They are not interested in laboring long hours building a temporary kingdom for one person or working for a “personality.”  But it is about working their guts out for a cause and vision bigger than themselves. Cause is important.  So tie in compassion and justice to their “normal everyday.” Causes and opportunities to give back are essential to a millennial and motivating. Find creative opportunities to partner with your missions’ organizations.  What if your missions project went from collecting an offering to promoting crowdfunding (peer-to-peer fundraising by engaging your network to empower one another to donate to causes, build relationships and make money). Have millennials create awareness campaigns for causes tied to your global missions projects.  Inspire your millennials to build bridges with your local needs (backpack drives, food donation opportunities, etc.).  It may not fit as easily in your missions’ box but you are creating an opportunity for your church to be seen and heard. 

6.  Explain the "why" often.

Millennials won’t buy into WHAT you’re doing as much but they will buy into WHY you’re doing it.  Young leader’s need to know you are committed to helping people more than you are interested in growing numbers. And your WHY is most likely tied to that.  Recently, my friend Brad Lomenick said this about this topic:

Your identity is WHO you are. Your assignment is WHAT you do. Your calling is WHY you do what you do. - Brad Lomenick

Millennials love their calling.  So when you focus on their calling, the WHY connected to their job,  it will also reinforce the WHY connected to your organization.  They are attracted to passion and purpose.  Perhaps our older generation did a disservice to the next generation by telling them to constantly "live a purpose-driven life.” While that’s not bad advice, it is limited. We weren’t telling them the entire picture.  Maybe that’s why millennials struggle with work ethic.  Millennials are walking around wondering, “When is this job going to start being fun all the time?” Millennials assume that  every moment at work should be gratifying; that each day should be filled with meaningful and satisfying work. That’s never the case.  Work has it’s good and bad day.  Work has it’s fun and it’s “boring stuff.”  Helping millennials see this is critical for their success.  Simon Sinek says,

"Working hard for something we don’t care about is stress but working hard form something we love is passion.”  -Simon Sinek

So give them a reason to “love “ their job.  And that is connected to the why.  Oh, and also, the “why” clarifies the “win.”  So don’t dismiss the power of sitting down with your millennial and defining what the win looks like. Most likely your “win”  explain the “why.” Clearly describe what the expected outcome should look like and how they will know that they accomplished the vision.

7.  Give them a reason to stay with you for the long haul.

One of the biggest trends among millennials is finding out how they can easily maneuver themselves out of the corner office and into their own businesses or look for better opportunities.  You can stop the desire for these young leaders to leave by doing this simple thing:   giving them more responsibility.  They crave exciting opportunities, creative environments and developmental moments. So give them opportunities early with responsibility. They don’t want to wait their turn. They want to make a difference now.  If we don’t recognize this, they will find an alternative outlet for influence and responsibility somewhere else. Whether that’s right or wrong, its true.  Empower them early and often. Older leaders have to understand younger leaders have a much broader and global perspective, which makes wowing millenials much more difficult.  They’ve been exposed to just about everything, so the sky is the limit in their minds. So be less concerned about “chaining them to their desk to do the tedious” let’s be more intentional about “championingtheir dreams to do the miraculous.”

8.  Lead by example. 

Millenails want examples that can be trusted.  Many parental, political, spiritual, athletic and famous examples have let them down. So choose to be one of the few that they can look up to.  Many older leaders think millennials aren’t interested in generational wisdom transfer. This is not true. Younger leaders are hungry for mentoring and discipleship.  So build it into your organizational environment!  Create a monthly mentorship group at a coffee shop with you and your younger staff, give them “office hours” to simply talk about whatever they need to (work and non-work-related issues.  Broken homes have created a loss of role models for many young people.   There is a need for strong, “family-like” role models and the church is the best place to find them.  So create a family environment. Have “family dinners” as a staff.  Take time for “family prayer time.”  Make sure the work environment is experiential and family oriented. Lead each person uniquely. Creating immovable standards or rules that apply to everyone no matter isn’t helpful.  I don’t connect with my kids the same (they are at different ages and stages and genders).  So don’t be afraid to customize your approach at work. (I’ll admit, this one is difficult too!)  Be a father in the faith.  Paul said we have a lot of teachers of faith, but a father in the faith is a rare find. Stop complaining about the person you wish they would be and start being the person they hoped you would be.  Even if you don’t’ have the time, find older mentors who do.  This gives them a chance to understand your church or organization while learning from a proven leader. Some churches have started internship programs to inspire millennials with their best practices.  You can do the same.   Millennials love opportunities for quality time-individually and corporately. So make quality time a priority with your millennial-especially when they are new on the job.  Throwing millennials right into their tasks when they come on board your church or organization is a set up for failure.  Give them a week to not produce but to simply relate.  Have them visit different department and simply soak up relationship, environment and culture.   Churches can travel at such a fast pace that it is tempting to let new team members hit the ground running. This can communicate a negative culture to the new team member and also presents an environment that reacts to circumstances rather than proactive strategy.

9.  Make authenticity a standard in your culture.

Millennials are cynical at their core, and don’t trust someone just because they are in charge.  So help them trust you by being authentic.  And you will probably have to go first, so give them the gift of going second.  So be authentic.  Authenticity gives you a strength and authority in the room.  It promotes trust, influence and sincerity like now other.  I’ve heard it said,  “authenticity trumps professionalism.”  So be authentic with your young leadership.  Authenticity dismantles who others want you to be and enhances who you’re supposed to be and inspires who could be.   And don’t just share the easy stuff but get real and share the dirt.  Authenticity says, “this is who I am” and vulnerability says, “this is what I’ve done.”  Vulnerability doesn’t mean that you’re weak, it means that you’re brave enough to embrace that you don’t have it all together and lean into the God who does. One of our deepest desires, and valid needs, as human beings is to be known and seen. We long to have someone look at us, know every nook and cranny of our hearts, and at the end of the day still love every part of us.  This not only helps millenials know who they are but who you are.  This next generation needs to know you are real and that you can be trusted. 

10.  Speak into their future.

Speak more into their potential and less into their profession.  Or in other words:  who can they be and what can they do?  Tell them what you believe they can do. Tell them what opportunities await them if they are willing to put in the effort. Give them a future they can believe in.  Put yourself back in their shoes for a moment. Picture your boss encouraging you and taking time to say things like, “I’m really impressed with your growth, and I can see you getting a promotion if you are willing to put in the effort,” or your parents telling you they know you are capable of doing more than you are doing now. After hearing that aren’t ready to become the person others believe you can be? Hard-working millennials need to hear us tell them directly, “We believe you are capable of creating a better future.” Even God knows we need this:

Because of your partnership of the Gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 1:6

 If God can do this so should we.  And you can’t speak into their future if you can’t see it.  Sometimes millennials need you to see into their future for them.  They need to know what you are believing for them and what you see in them.  

Any I am forgetting or you would add?

How to Know if You're an Insecure Leader

 Do you find yourself indecisive, unclear, hesitant and afraid?  The root of it might be...insecurity.  Even the best leaders aren't immune to it's crippling effects. 

So how do you know you are being insecure as a leader? 

 

Here are 10 behaviors to determine if you are an insecure leader:

#1 – You see people as working for you and not with you.

#2 – Everyone who pushes back on any of your ideas is automatically branded as disloyal.  (Because for you “ loyalty” is defined as, “loving everything I say and do!”)

#3 – Every time someone begins to say something good about someone else you always have to be the person who says, “yes, but what you don’t know about them is…” and from that point tear them down under the disguise of being concerned about them.

#4 – You get jealous when someone on your team receives any sort of public affirmation but you are not mentioned at all.  (Remember how Saul felt when it was said, “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands.”)

#5 – You cannot celebrate what God is doing in other churches.  (OR, you always critique instead of celebrating!)

#6 – You always believe someone on your staff is going to attempt a coup and try to take over your role as a leader.  (This leads to suspicion and distrust, which will destroy ANY team.)

#7 – You dismiss what God is doing in another ministry because it does not line up exactly with where you are theologically.

#8 – You lead through intimidation, always threatening to “fire someone” if things “don’t shape up around here.”

#9 – You really do like the fact that people on your staff are afraid of you.

#10 – You feel the need to prove yourself in every meeting you are in by seizing every opportunity you have to speak, believing that everything in the meeting is not going to be its absolute best until you have had your say about it.

On some level, we all have tendencies to be insecure at times but I have found the best way to battle insecurity:  be comfortable being yourself. 

Seems simple but being you is the best way to crush insecurity.  Being inauthentic produces insecurity and there result of it in it's broadest sweep is mistrust.  If you're trying to be someone you're not, others will not trust you. 

So enjoy your job, community and life by being secure by being yourself and watch this year as being one of the best yet!

Why I'm Not Following A God of Rules

Now that I have your attention.

There is a misconception in culture that God wants to stop you from enjoying your life but to be miserable as a Christian.  That God wants to suck the fun out of your Christian life.  That's not that far off as if you walk into some churches, there is anything but joy in it's community or in it's weekend worship experiences.   There seems to be a focus on what we can't do, what we can't wear, who we can't be with, what we can't listen to, etc.  Although some may have good intentions, the end result is a community that is more focused on what they stand against instead of what they believe for.

I will say right up front:  sin is bad and should be avoided at all costs.  Choosing to disobey God results in a life of difficulty, pain, misery and death.  That's in the Bible (Romans 6:23).  Choosing to disobey God will not bring you the life you dreamed about and unfortunately it will intimately become a nightmare.  You may not see it now...but it will not end well.  In this life and in the life to come. 

“ I choose to embrace who I am WITH God than resisting who I am WITHOUT God. ”

But this becomes the problem.  God doesn't want us to be sinful but God wants us to be Holy.  For some, "Holy" is a word that we synonym with a cranky old woman with her hair in a tight bun who is pointing a bony finger at you telling you to "stop doing the devil's work and be holy like the Lord."  That image isn't supposed to be a "specific person" but a metaphor of how see rules in the church  (although I feel I see that character in movies of most "christian folk" -  uptight, sour and living out of touch from the rest of the world).  That's not Holiness.  

What if we saw Holiness from a different perspective.  

What if we saw Holiness as not "what I can't do" ... but "who I'm with." God says "be Holy as I am Holy" NOT "do holy like I do Holy" (1 Peter 1:15-16; Leviticus 20:26).  Rather than making my list of "NO's" to God I'm choosing to focus on my single "YES" for God!  The Bible calls it our "one thing" :

One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him...." Psalm 27:4

What if Holiness was setting yourself apart to be with God?  So I choose to embrace who I am WITH God than resisting who I am WITHOUT God.  I choose to be WITH God (exclusively God's,  "set apart" for the Lord, Holy).  This makes my devotion to God less about "what I can't do throughout the day" and more to "know God more throughout the day. "  This makes my mission less about  "being in the world but not of it" and instead becomes more about "belonging in the world and changing it" because that was God's desire from the beginning.  We focus less on restrictions instead of the permissions.  God's purpose in the beginning wasn't to have an exhaustive list of rules (he only had one) but for us to enjoy the Garden of Eden:

Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. The Lord God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely;  but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.”  Genesis 2:15-17

Eat freely.  

Who doesn't love to eat freely.  That's vacation for me.  That's Thanksgiving in the Pastian household.  That's birthday week for everyone in my family.  That's Olive Garden on all-you-can-eat pasta night.  It's no holding back but enjoying what we have worked for, what we have grown and made together as a family.  Those words that wouldn't bother me if I didn't have a pretty solid "dad bod" right now (don't worry I'm working on it...kind of).  But these are life-giving words to Adam and Eve who were given permission to be in the garden and enjoy the relationship of their creator and the fruit of their labor.  "Eat freely" was the freedom of God and man to enjoy the each other in the garden and have a communion like no other.  Our relationship with God is to be cherished.  It's to be pursued.  It's who we were meant to be and how we were meant to live.  From the beginning God was not a "God of rules" but a "God of freedom."  And this freedom was to enjoy the relationship with God that was always meant for us.  There was only one rule in the garden of Eden "don't eat from the tree."  Because love is choice and never forced.  So that single tree made us choose God or in other words choose love.  God's love.  

“What if we saw holiness as not “what I can’t do” but instead saw holiness as “who I’m with.” ”

But sin damaged us to need rules.  The lie from the enemy of our souls was small enough and just twisted enough to cause us to lose our freedom and become corrupt from sin.  So God HAD to give us more rules...to save us from ourselves.  These rules came in the form of the 10 commandments, the book of Deuteronomy with rules of worship and conduct, then we have the Mitzvot (the 613 commandments Jews follow), and the list goes on..  Not to mention church cultural rules of don't live together, don't drink, don't go to R movies, don't listen to secular music, don't wear too much make-up, don't wear a bikini in the summer to a youth event, etc.   

But Jesus came to simplify our Christian lives by boiling it down to two commands:  Love God and love your neighbor as yourself.  Jesus brings us back to love, again.  Relationship with God, again.  That was accomplished on the cross to restore us back to our original design, purpose and plan:  to live in communion with God again.  Like we were supposed to.  

And now...our choice isn't to say NO to all the temptations but to say a simple YES to Jesus.  I choose Christ.  In the beginning we choose God over the tree.  In the now we choose Jesus over sin.  Because when I choose Christ: 

I forgive seventy times seven

I love my enemies

I keep my body pure till marriage

I have self-control not to be a stumbling block to others

I make healthy habit choices to not get drunk, smoke, etc.

I bring peace to volatile situations

I am patient in relationships

I give my money away to Kingdom building and hurting people 

I avoid sin to not entangle myself again

Because He whom the Son sets free is free indeed (John 8:36)

If you see this as permission to do what you want when you want...then Jesus isn't Lord of your life.  For Jesus to be Savior and Lord means He not only redeemed you but purchased you as His own.  You are not yours...but belong to Christ.  But in that purchase, He showed you love and the right way to live.  So I choose to follow a Holy God because Holiness is what I am longing to have. 

HOW DO YOU FOLLOW A GOD OF HOLINESS:

Be WITH Christ.

It's hard to sin in the presence of God.  So desire the presence of God daily.  Read the Bible, pray and seek God regularly.  There's no sin in God's presence in heaven and there won't be when you are in God's presence in your room, service, etc.  Why?  Because you can't help but repent, confess your wrongs to God when in prayer, church, etc.  So choose be with God as often as you can and watch your life slowly become less sinful and God become more wonderful.

 Be LIKE Christ.  

When you are like Christ you won't sin and hurt yourselves and others.  Turn the lie of the devil to "be like god" back on him and truly "be like GOD."  The more time you spend with God, the less you will sin against God and become like God.  Here are some Scriptures to get you thinking:  

the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked.  1 John 2:6

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ. 1 Corinthians 11:1

Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is. And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure. 1 John 3:2-3

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Ephesians 5:1-2

Live for Christ.

When you choose to live for Christ, it's not about you, your wants or even your dreams.  Because when you delight in the Lord, He gives you the desires of your heart.  When you choose Jesus you want to see people forgiven, the hungry fed, the broken healed, the bound set free, etc.  Those desires that are Christ become your desires.  For you have been crucified with Christ and it's not longer you who live but Christ who lives in you and this life you now live your live for Jesus who loves you and gave Himself for you.  

Any thoughts on this you would like to share?

How to talk about race, gender and other cultural controversies as a Christian

I’m watching a “divide widen” right before my eyes.  I see a country turning on each other.  We’ve heard political statements made about race, transgender, refugees,  women’s marches, homosexual cake-making,  celebrities in pink beanies, etc. and the list goes on.  I watch the division in our country become more visceral, I ask the question as a Christian: 

How do I respond? 

What do I say?

It’s hard.  Sincere Christians don’t want to offend people but desire to love people.  Followers of Jesus don’t want to keep others away from “knowing Jesus.”  The church doesn’t want to to be known for being closed-minded, out of touch or hateful in any way.  With tensions high, we don’t want to be the center of controversy, drama or arguments.

So we chose to be silent, disengaged from conversations on critical topics in culture.  Doesn’t Jesus say, “Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels” (2 Timothy 2:23)?  The key word is "foolish."  The obvious characteristics of foolishness is "yelling, screaming, fighting, etc". I'm talking about smart dialogue to make us and our communities better.  So instead if having "everything to do with critical conversations" we choose  “opt out” of these essential dialogues  Jesus meant for us engage in.  Without “Christian voice” in the narrative….like any conversation, it becomes one-sided. 

But I want to challenge Us with this:  We have an obligation to engage in what is happening in culture.  Jesus walked into culture and asked hard questions and brought clarity with love, honesty and hope…we should do the same.  That doesn’t mean we won’t be in the middle of cultural arguments and issues.  Jesus was in the middle of controversy but with a grace that allowed others to hear what He had to say.  Sure he wasn’t void of arguments from the cultural and political leaders of His day…but He chose to speak life and truth into the current national climate of the first century.  Christ in us compels us to speak with the same grace, the same life and the same truth into our our culture as well. 

It’s not left and right.  It’s not their side or my side.   As Christians, there is only one side…God’s side.  God’s Kingdom is one of acceptance, unconditional love, honor, forgiveness, grace and hope.  I’m reminded of a political leader of the day, Joshua, who was engaging in wars, fighting wars, leading people, making policies, standing for what was right.  There was a battle ensuing and a conflict was evident between two sides and when Joshua asked God whose side are you on…mine, right?  God answered with an “I’m on MY side.”  If you are lover of Jesus then there is only one side…God’s side.  When you’re on God’s side you DO take a stand.  When you take a stand against injustice, you fight for oppressed, you care for the fatherless, you give to those that are living without...you take a stand WITH God.  

“It’s less about engaging your political views but engaging your Gospel views with others.”

THIS is God’s side.  This is the side that says ALL people are created by God and in the image of God.  It’s the side that says EVERYONE has value.  ALL people are worthy of dignity and respect regardless of ethnicity, wealth, gender or status in life.  Jesus transcends the barriers of prejudice and we should too.  Jesus said when he was speaking to the crowd that if you want to make a difference spiritually in your city then treat the guy next to you the way you would want to be treated or to quote the Bible, “love your neighbor as yourself.”  As human beings, that can be hard to do.  So the people responded, Who is my neighbor?”  And that’s when Jesus tells the story of the “Good Samaritan.”  While a series of “religious people” chose to “opt out” of the “carnage in the streets” a Samaritan man chose to not just engage but help and invest (he paid for hospital bills and hotel rooms) in seeing this person become a better person (Luke 10:25-37)

“It’s not about enforcing your political views but engaging in your Gospel heart with others.”

Jesus modeled it beautifully and encourages us to do the same.  How we treat and love our neighbor is at the very core of what it means to be an authentic follower of Jesus. If the greatest commandment is to love God and love our neighbor as ourself then walking across the “roads” and “into the streets” where we go to others who think and believe differently than we do is the heart of the Gospel.  Samaritans and Jewish people were "racially charged" because of their past.  Simply put:  there was a racial divide between Jewish people and Samaritan people.  So when Jesus speaks of this, Jesus is speaking directly to the racial and political tensions that were evident in the day.  It’s less about engaging your political views with others and more about engaging your Gospel heart with others.  That’s why Christians should choose to win hearts not arguments.  So love your neighbor.  In complicated times such as these, it can’t be more simple than that. 

So how can you thoughtfully engage in what is happening around you?

1.  Put yourself in someone else’s shoes

Many of us don’t know what it’s like to experience racial bigotry, sexual identity accusation, gender inequality, etc.  So do your best to gain understanding.  That’s wisdom according to God: 

“The beginning of wisdom is: Acquire wisdom; And with all your acquiring, get understanding.” Proverbs 4:7

So try to understand where the other is coming from.  This will not only build a bridge but will help calm the waters as you empathize. 

2.  Before you say it…pray it

I’m guilty of just speaking what I’m feeling.  Before you engage with someone or in something…give it some time in prayer.  It’s there you will get God’s heart for your situation and for that PERSON.  It’s a lot easier for you to see where they are coming from when you see how God sees them in prayer. 

3.  It’s not about being political but it’s about being Gospel

Gospel means “good news.”  So be a bringer of “good news” not “bad news" or "fake news."  You can’t have the Gospel without grace.  We need the graciousness of God.  So be a gracious person.  Graciousness is one of the most potent postures you can make when engaging with others.  We believe graciousness overrules combativeness at the end of the day.  Graciousness is this:  Having a forgiving attitude and a compassionate position while walking in wisdom with those whos attitudes and beliefs differ from yours.   So be gracious towards others than being defensive towards others.  

4.  Consider others better than you

Remember … according to Jesus, everyone has equal value.  No human is better than another. That's a hard attitude to have and to be  consistent with.   But Jesus held true to that by having this attitude:  consider others better than you.  The Bible says it best in Philippians 2:3-6 in the Message:

“If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand. Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges.”

5. Have conversations not confrontations.

We’ve seen enough confrontation to last us a lifetime.  So let’s start having conversations.  That means it is a two-sided dialogue.   So be a "potent listener."  Listening shows more power and grace than you can imagine. We have to listen in order to be listened to.  Which means don't come in to the argument simply telling me just what to think or what you think but ask me what I think.  How you say it is just as important as what you say.  Stop trying so hard to be “convincing” and start by being “inviting.”  Don’t see barriers but opportunities.  Choose to rally around themes that can do the most good:  love, honor, peace, humility, kindness, forgiveness and hope.  

So if someone asks me,  "Are you against Trump?"  I'm going to rally around the themes of peace, forgiveness and honor by responding with this:

"Instead of who I'm against or what I'm against, let me tell you what I'm 100% for:  human dignity, valuing all races, finding forgiveness to heal and bringing us together in peace. I can see you're hurting over what's happening ... how can I help?"

6.  Practice peacemaking

That means you need to be intentional to bring peace to people, places and discussions.  This is not a peace that is fabricated but a peace that is faith-related.  This is a peace that is not manipulated with the right substance or the right circumstance but a peace that is magnified as a person.  This is a supernatural peace, a Godly peace, that has nothing to do with human beings or human circumstances.  In fact it can’t be produced by anyone but it can be found by everyone .  This peace is a Person.  It’s Jesus.  He is called “the Prince of peace” and He crushed evil like no one else could (Romans 16:20).  So the closer you are to Jesus…the closer you are to peace.  Jesus doesn’t get stressed out, worry, or get afraid but lives in perfect contentment.  You can too.

“Stop trying so hard to be “convincing” and start by being “inviting.””

7.  Be a good neighbor

I know we already said it but we can’t say it enough:  Love God and love your neighbor as yourself.  True joy is NOT found in pursuing our own desires but fulfilling the desires of others.  So we choose to keep our doors open and our lives open as good neighbors to create a better community.  Acceptance is more palatable to culture than resistance so we choose to accept people where they are and influence people to where they could be in Jesus.  So we follow the advice of Jesus,

“Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.”  Hebrews 10:24

 At the end of the day, isn't it less about proving you're right or wrong and more about seeing others draw closer to the unconditional love of Jesus?

Anything else you would add to this conversation?

Instagramspiration

Challenging you to think critically as The New Young Christian 

How to Change an Unhealthy Community into a Flourishing One

What you surround yourself with matters.  Who you surround yourself is important.  As humans we are expected to grow:  physically, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, etc.  Just like seeds that need good soil, we need good environments to grow in.  

Jesus was clear that unless a seed is buried in the ground and sprouts and grows,  it is nothing more than just a singular, granular lifeless entity that has no significance that produces nothing (John 12:24) -like that random penny you find in your couch which you look at and think "I guess it's got potential but by itself this penny can't do anything for me by itself sitting next to a bobby pin and a forgotten lego.

Seeds need soil.  Period.  Jesus loves soil.  Period.  Jesus spent more time talking about soil than seed which means a healthy environment, surroundings and culture is more important than you think.  

Our soil (dirt, y'all) is powerful.  Soil sustains life by helping seeds become plants.  Soil provides food, water and air that is needed by plants to grow. The healthier the soil, the more nutrients a plant can soak up. The healthier the plant, the better the fruit. In our natural world, the quality of the soil ultimately affects the health of people and animals. 

“Jesus spent more time talking about soil than seed which means a healthy environment, surroundings and culture is more important than you think.  ”

Our "soil of our environment" is equally powerful.  What we are surrounded by is constantly giving off sustenance for us to consume.  We might call them "cues" that we pick up and apply to our lives.  These cues reflect and even establish our values, priorities, ideas, language, etc.  Your soil, or in other words, your environment is made up of these 5 ingredients: 

Who you are:  Recognition

What you see:  Observation

What you hear:  Conversation

How you do:  Contribution

How you relate:  Cooperation

Don't underestimate the power of your surroundings.  Your "soil" is always teaching, always communicating, always driving decision, always driving actions and behaviors.  Whether you believe it or not, your surroundings have missions, values, goals that are build into your 5 soil ingredients or cues.  What is around us affects us.  You are influenced by your environment... negatively or positively.  

7 Ways to Grow A Healthy Community: 

1.  Go deep

We live in a culture of shallow relationships.  Being connected today means having twitter followers, facebook friends, reality TV romances, Netflix drama, etc.  But these faux friendships aren't deep.  Most of these relationships are pretend, shallow, hollow and superficial.  So we sit in front of our screens and enjoy the dream of friendship:  a story that we wish we had, where there is a group of people we seem to relate to, that seems to understand me, that seem to "like" what I say, and "share" what I enjoy, etc.  In reality we don't have real friendship but real isolation.  Jesus modeled deep friendship by being vulnerable, honest, loving, humble, servant-hearted, etc.  Acts 2:42 says the disciples "devoted themselves to fellowship" and to go deep we have to do the same.  Devote yourself to  A handful of people  and go as deep as you can with them. Most likely these relationships will reciprocate and these will be relationships will have for life.

2.  Give back

Acceptance is more palatable to culture than resistance so we choose to accept people where they are and influence people to where they could be in Jesus.  So we choose to resist a culture of self indulgence so we can live in self-denial modeling and reveling the essence of Christ which is serve other and give back to our community.  The Bible says, "let us think of ways to motivate once another to acts of love and good works " (Hebrews 10:24).  This is the kind of soil that I can grow in. 

“Every culture has “bad” underneath the surface or in other words soil has potential for “weeds” to grow so kill the weeds and feed the flowers and fruit that you want to grow.”

3.  Live open

Being defensive and living a closed life is easy in a broken world.  Our past experiences have conditioned us to be guarded and closed off to  others.  If you live a closed life you will live a lonely life because people will look elsewhere.  So take a risk...and trust.  Simply trusting the process and the person is hard but essential to healthy living.  An open life means having  honest dialogue, palatable conversations about issues that matter, listening and celebrating the stories of others, accepting others where they are at and pacing with others when they are slow to change.  This demands a high level of trust in your surroundings.  So be the first to trust and be the last to resist.   And for some of you you are in healthy soil but you're choosing to remain closed. Not only are you not benefiting those around you but they those around you were not benefiting your contribution. But choosing to be closed off in good soil ...  you're still hurting yourself  and depriving those around you.

 

 

4.  Laugh often

There's nothing like a creative, open and talkative atmosphere  full of smiles and engagement that is attractive and appealing.  Create inside jokes, have phrases that meaningful to you, laugh at yourself and with yourself, etc.  What movie quotes do you share, what tv characters do you celebrate, what songs get you hyped, etc? Identify these and use them as anchors of laughter and celebration in your community.  Also...be secure in your deficiencies, idiosyncracies and personalities because that gives you and others permission to have fun too. 

“An open life means having  honest dialogue, palatable conversations about issues that matter, listening and celebrating the stories of others, accepting others where they are at and pacing with others when they are slow to change.  ”

5.  Engage in honest conflict  

Conflict is rooted in not understanding where others around you are coming from.  So when a conflict arises, rather than trying to "gain understanding" we instead are trying to tell them "what's going on."  Stephen Covey speaks to this in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People when he says, "seek first to understand then to be understood."  So guard yourself against assuming because when you assume you cease to draw close because you "already know" their thoughts and motives and remain at a distance.  If you're going to assume something...assume the best about that person and not the worst!  When you believe the best about someone you can't help but draw closer and draw from them. 

6.  Take responsibility of your surroundings  

Someone has to step up and take responsibility for the health and well-being of your environment.  If you're friends are unhealthy, your romances are dysfunctional, your spiritual life is lacking, your emotions are running high in your "soil" ... you are part of the problem.  When you realize you didn't step up, you didn't course correct, you didn't stop the conversation, you didn't say anything, etc...you were part of the problem.  But you are also part of the solution!  When you stand up and say "my office, friendships, church, neighborhood, etc isn't healthy and I am going to do something about it" that's when real change takes place.  Take responsibility to be the solution and stop being part of the problem.  Even if it's not "your fault" it Is still your responsibility.  It's tough.  I get it.  The absence of tough decisions in your culture means you allow those things to remain.  So make the tough decision and have the tough conversations.  

“So when a conflict arises, rather than trying to ‘gain understanding’ we instead are trying to tell them ‘what’s going on.’ ”

7.  Use your words

Here's a question:  What do you want to be surrounded by?  Write down the words:  honesty, acceptance, generosity, etc.  Finally, once you have identified these words ask yourself if your community is reflecting these attributes.  Lean into and lead towards these attributes.  If you choose to start living these words they will "take root" in your life and be visible to others around you.  Every culture has "bad" underneath the surface or in other words soil has potential for "weeds" to grow.  So you kill the weeds and feed the flowers and fruit that you want to grow.  Discover the bad  and praise the good in your community.  Give energy and attention to the actual values that should be affirmed and the aspirational values you want to see around you.  Discover what you want to become and simply do what you say.  Be honest about your "soil" and be equally honest about what is necessary to change and watch your community flourish. 

Anythjng you you would add? 

3 Powerful Lesson I Learned About Building Authenticity in My Community

Excited to be featured in QARA.org which is an organization that is supports and champions young adults.  For this week's post, please check out my piece and take a look around QARA for inspiration as I share about the power of vulnerability as inspiration for the journey as The New Young Christian.  

http://qara.org/3-powerful-lessons-i-learned-about-building-authenticity-in-my-community/

Part 2: How to move forward into the future you've always wanted

When we worry we hurry.  We want to make our future happen.  So we  recognize frustration at a job, tension in a relationship, sense of dryness in a spiritual life, boredom in a season as possible signposts to exit off our trajectory and head down a different one.  

If if you haven't checked out part 1 of this post check it out here...  

http://www.alanpastian.com/journal/2017/7/21/new-post-for-today

We have been talking on the home base about finding and not missing out on God's future for you.  If you haven't read part 1 you can read it here...

When we worry we hurry.  We want to make our future happen.  So we  recognize frustration and a job, tension in a relationship, sense of dryness in a spiritual life, boredom in a seasonas possible signposts to exit off our trajectory and head down a different one.  Until one day we realize we have got to a place, a future we don't like or that was never meant for us.  A false future. 

How to move forward into the future you've always wanted:

Discover what refuels you and fuel up often

Some things give you energy in life, some things drain you. Figure out what refuels you. Most likely it's not going to be what you think.   Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is watch a movie, go to a baseball game, hit up a new restaurant with friends, finally get that redox you've been wanting, take a nap, etc.  What ever fills your tank... do more of it. 

Make your character a priority

Character sustains what God is building around you.    Your skills, talents and personality will take you only as far as your character can sustain you.  Choose to do the right thing no matter what...you won't regret it. 

Don’t live in the valley of indecision

Living with regrets comes from bad decisions or in decision.      Bad decisions are easy to spot because you usually recognize them after you've made them.  Indecision is harder to see. Because deciding not to decide is still a decision.  This avoids living a life with regrets because you "wish you could have done something." Make the best decision you can with the information you have, then pursue it with everything you’ve got from a posture of humility.

“Let your emotions catch up with your obedience because you don’t always have to “feel it” but you should always obey it.”

Book appointments with God and don’t break them

Your calendar will naturally fill up with urgent things other people believe are important.  And you will watch a decade or more pass by without doing anything really significant.  Anything done without God isn’t fruitful. 

I put appointments in my calendar that I don’t move so I keep that time with God and I don’t break them.  I use that time to seek God, pray, have my blank journal page and write down the vision, plans and purposes God has for me.  Then when someone asks you if you’re busy, you can truthfully say “I’d love to help, but I have a commitment with someone and I just can’t break it.”

Forgive again and again and again....

Forgive and trust again.  Don’t let what someone else did sabotage your future.  Let’ your future thrive because you chose to forgive, and move on.  The second you stop trusting people you start living a life of isolation.  And a life of isolation is a life without impact.  Not to mention…you’ll be awfully lonely.

Deal with your issues now

It’s easy to blame others for what’s happened to your life.  And I hate to say it, but the common factor to the issues in your life is mostly going to be you. So deal with you. You have issues. Everyone does.  You may not be able to change the other person but you can absolutely change YOU and how YOU respond to a person or situation. Give people permission to call out your "stuff."  Go have some serious conversations with those that you trust. Do what it takes to deal with your junk.  You'll hi-five your future self!

Anything else you would suggest?

Part 1: How to move forward into the future you've always wanted

I was out of coffee recently with a young adult and we were talking about her future. She echoed the similar sentiment that many other young adults have which is essentially this:

I just don't want to miss what God has for me.   

If there's one thing we obsess over as young adults, its our future.  Of course our future deserves thought and intentionality.  We should be passionately pursuing it  but instead we as humans tend to be anxiously pursuing it.  

When we worry we hurry.  We want to make our future happen.  So we  recognize frustration at a job, tension in a relationship, sense of dryness in a spiritual life, boredom in a season as possible signposts to exit off our trajectory and head down a different one.  Until one day we realize we have got to a place, a future we don't like or that was never meant for us.  A false future. 

How to move forward into the future you've always wanted:

Build a tribe around you to make you better

I think your destiny is less about WHAT you're supposed to do but WHO you are supposed to do it with.  So find the people around you who are modeling where you want to go. Find people who have gone before you and have walked through your life stage to coach you through it.  Find someone who is similar in strengths and personality with you and ask them how they have dealt with the personality traits that can sabotage.  Usually those relationships are walking down a path or have walked down that path and you can simply follow them or at least they can point you in the right direction.  Proverbs 13:20 says, "Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble."  So find good friends.  I’ve spent a lot of time trying to intentionally pursue friendships and relationships with people who are smarter, more skilled and simply ‘better’ than me.  To become a better person and leader, spend time with people who are better than you.  A better me leads to a better future for me.  

Be known as a person of faithfulness

Being committed to something that goes beyond just your emotions is a challenge for most young adults.  Maybe that’s why faithfulness seems rare...not just in marriage but also in life. Culture teaches us to dispose of anything or anyone we don’t like. So do the opposite. Learn how to be dependable, consistent and loyal, holding to what you know is right even when you feel like it.

“Your skills, talents and personality will take you only as far as your character can sustain you.”

Choose a community and be devoted to them

Friendship circles change when you leave school, get married and even change jobs.  In the midst of all that change, find a few friends and stick with them for life.  Most people can only handle 5 really close relationships in their life. You are the sum total of the 5 people you spend the most time with.  So choose those 5 well and build into those relationships deeply.  Show me your friends and I'll show you your future.  Find your community and get rooted in the soil of these relationships.  

Let your weakness be your weakness and call it a day

We try to improve our weaknesses to be good at everything.  You’ll never be great at everything. So instead of trying to improve your weaknesses...manage them don't ignore them.  Instead focus improving your strengths.  Once you realize you’re only great at a few things, you’re free to become even greater at them.  Take Strengthsfinders test.  Take personality tests.  Take time to talk to those who know you best and interview those closest to you to take an inventory of what they think you do best.  Pour your time, energy and resources into what you do well. That’s the difference between being good at something and being best at something.

“I think your destiny is less about WHAT you’re supposed to do but WHO you are supposed to do it with. ”

Map out the "high roads in life" and take them often

The high road is the hard road. But it’s the best road.  People will try to pull you off the high road again and again.  The high road and God's future are most likely the SAME ROAD.  Want to know if you're on the right path towards God's future?  Be humble, honoring those ahead of you and blessing those behind you.  If you are prideful, a dishonoring person and someone who is creating division and strife then you better check where you're at because that road leads to nowhere.  But if you choose to take the high road often, you can look back and see the view of your life that you can be proud of.  Jesus said it best in Philippians 2:3-4, "Do not act out of selfish ambition or conceit, but with humility think of others as being better than yourselves. 4 Do not be concerned about your own interests, but also be concerned about the interests of others."

Relentlessly pursue self-awareness or in other words "read the room"

Self-aware people make the best leaders and are easy people to hang out with in life. Probably most of your favorite people in life are the people who are self-aware.  But self-awareness doesn’t come naturally. Selfishness makes me naturally blind to what is happening around me.   So "read the room" and if you can't then find someone who can...they're called a "wingman" (and I guess "winggirl" because "wing woman" just sounds ... ). 

Push through the dry seasons

Trust me when I say you will have times when your relationships, career and spiritual life will seem flat.  Remember why you are there and don't forget it.  What was the last thing God spoke to you in prayer (via a Scripture, song, church, spiritual friend, quietly in prayer, etc)..  Revisit those words often.  Unless God has changed His mind, that's where you are supposed to be.  That's why God says to pray about everything.  Because then your yes to these decisions in your life have meaning even when you don't feel like it does.  Let your emotions catch up with your obedience because you don't always have to "feel it" but you should always obey it.  So be obedient and follow God above all else.  

Anything else you would suggest?

#blunt on contentment

Learn to be content with who God made you to be and what God has called you to do.  You are meant to be unique.  When you compare yourself to others your measure of success is dependent on how far the other goes, how hard the other works and their standard of life.  When you compare yourself to Christ and His standard, Jesus becomes your measure of success.  And his measurements are this:  being forgiving when others are being holding grudges, being humble when others are pumping their chests, being kind when surrounded by selfishness, being honoring when surrounded by selfish ambition, being committed when others are giving up, etc. 

You’ll never be happy when you are comparing your lives to people and things because they’re temporary.  Christ is eternal.  Contentment is Christ because when you encounter Christ you forfeit the world to gain what your soul which is what you are truly longing for.  Another way of looking at it is “discovering your discontentment” with what you have and not what you don’t have.  That’s why you lose your soul when you gain the world.  The things never cease their beckoning.  They will hold you till the end.  They are always whispering you need to have more.  They are screaming that what you have is not enough.  Contentment silences the screams of society that compel you to want more and need more. 

If the desire for more is the saboteur of enjoying contentment then the desire for Jesus is your ally in staying in contentment.  Love Christ more and you love things less.  Love God more and you love money less.  Love Jesus more and you love fame less.  The paradox is the more you love Jesus the less important things become and the more important people become.  Now your friends matter; now your family becomes significant; now your church becomes a community that you can’t live without.  

Being fulfilled is a powerful emotion.  It’s being filled to the full.  You will find a full life when you encounter Christ.  Jesus said it best,

“…I have come that you may have life, life to the full.”  John 10:10. 

At the end of the day, your circumstances will not make you happy.  No matter how much money you have, the house you own, the friends you surround yourself with, and the title you have at work because nothing can satisfy like Christ can.  That’s why Paul made sure he mentioned this in the Bible,

“11 Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. 12 I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 13 For I can do everything through Christ,[a] who gives me strength.”

Philippians 4:11-13

Godliness with contentment is great gain (1 Timothy 6:6).  Contentment without godliness means you’re experiencing something but not gaining anything.  Godliness puts your motives to your contentment.  It’s having the peace of mind with the Prince of Peace.   It’s a peace that affirms it’s not about looking around at what you wish you had but It’s found by what you don’t.  It’s about subtraction not addition.  Contentment will never come by adding to what I have but from subtracting from what I want.  What I’m saying is I won’t find contentment when I keep adding to what I have until my contentment rises to meet my level of desire but I will find contentment when my desires are lowered to my level of contentment.

Ambition is celebrated and rewarded in our culture.  Being ambitious to find your purpose isn’t wrong but striving to obtain possessions and power is.  Because when you strive you miss out on enjoying what you have and where you are at and who you’re with. 

Stop Getting Stuck In Life

Pro-motion. 

From faith to faith (Romans 1:17)

From Grace to Grace (John 1:16). 

From strength to strength (Psalm 84:7).

You are meant to move forward.    It’s one thing to be planted.  It’s another to be stuck.  God takes us from faith to faith, grace to grace, strength to strength, etc.  We are meant to move forward and to not stay the same person or be in the same place spiritually.  If you are the same person you were a year ago...than have you really encountered the transforming power of Jesus?Maturity says you are progressing.  Wearing the same clothes, eating the same food, talking the same vocabulary, throwing the same tantrums when you don't get your way when you were 5 would not be celebrated with anyone in our culture.  You are meant to grow, mature, advance and move forward in all things in life...especially spiritual matters.  

God wants you to move forward.  God is a God of pilgrimage.  We have to have an obedience in the same direction.  I think we can cut short the forward motion from God.  One of the big reasons why our advancement stalls and we get stuck from moving forward is our indecisions.  We have a lot of choices today.  Have you surfed iTunes lately?  Have you been on cable and tried to find espn or hgtv lately?  Their are hundreds of channels.  All I want to do is watch some chefs make a twist on creme brule' and I can't find the freaking food network.  There's a lot to choose from.  When a chosen generation has to choose a spiritual direction, it can become daunting.  But Jesus makes it easy.  Following a God who makes it simple by declaring, “I am THE way and THE truth and THE life.”   Yet we still can get stuck at indecision.  Because our culture reinforces these questions:  

Is this the best?

What if I miss it?

I have more to do?

My dreams aren’t fulfilled yet?

In the midst of decisions make it simple.  Deciding to move forward in life is not just the right thing to do, it's a standout characteristic in our culture.  Failure to launch is backstory for many.  So let your faith to move forward be your story.  So in the midst of many choices you choose the best thing you can do: 

As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”  Luke 10:38-42

She chooses Jesus.  Not only does it empower her to walk thru the crucifixion of Jesus but she becomes one of the ones to see the Resurrection of Jesus...Martha is nowhere to be found.  Mary saw Jesus that day but she experienced a side of Jesus that only a few experienced.  She went from faith to a faith where she saw the Resurrected Christ.  She went from a strength of finding Christ when she needed Him most to a strength where she was one of the few with Jesus at the cross and not only that, saw him resurrected first.  She went from a grace to meet Jesus to a grace to follow Jesus and become one of the most celebrated disciples in the Bible.  

Move forward...and leave indecision behind!

Embrace The Culture

Some of the most spiritual experiences I've had have been outside the walls of the church. I remember one time I was at a Sigur Ros concert when I was 19. As the band played, my heart was uplifted. As I heard the voices of the masses united, I heard angelic choirs. I’ve always had a love for art, music, and culture and I've always had a tension with how to engage with them. But I know that the testimony of nights similar to the one above show me that there may be going on in pop culture than mere entertainment.

More often than not there are things in our culture that can be redeemed rather than rejected. Obviously there are certain things that need to be not embraced. If you want to be a Christian stripper to reach people for Jesus you need to go back to the drawing board. However, there is so great opportunity in what can often be seen as a gray area. Redeem the gray area by shining light on it. All too often we make or promote art or music that specifically resonates with Christians. We give immense grace to the less than quality film or the cheesy lyrics because it is the heart that counts. I think that we can have both. I think we can have the standards of popular culture and the values of Christ all at the same time. Claiming the Sigur Ros concert as an encounter with God might just be a powerful testimony.

Everything in some way gives glory to God. Saint John of Damascus says “Greeks sacrifice to demons, but Israel blood and burnt sacrifices to God(Damascene, 74).” The medium and content are important but who you direct the adoration to is even more vital. There is a lot of non christian specific content that is full of good values and good questions. Be aware and able to discern what is nourishing and what you need to excrete.

Furthermore it says in Colossians that everything was created by God “For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions

or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him(Colossians 1:16).” If the hand of God has touched it, It is in some way blessed. We can either pervert the blessing or embrace and multiply it. Why not take a stance on drawing out the meat in every situation, praising what is worthy of praise. Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. Do not withhold good things because they may be bad. Train in yourself and your community the art of discernment.

God permits a great amount of freedom in what we should take in. There are consequences to our actions but there are also potentials. It says in 1 corinthians 10:16 “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” this scripture is talking specifically about food laws held by the Jews; however, there are parallels we can draw out. If you can have an encounter with God in an unorthodox place, so be it. This is not a careless freedom but rather an opportunity to be with and proclaim Jesus. The values and heart of Christ should be in you no matter where you go. So walk faithfully in everywhere you go and whatever you make.

If the incarnation shows anything it's that God is willing to embrace the world. Truth and the gospel should not reside in heaven rather it should step over cultural lines. The declaration of truth is not reserved for sanctuary; it needs to be proclaimed in the public square, the academy, the movie theater, the music venue, and the art shows. It is important to have sacred places, but sometimes it is even more important to bring sacredness into the world. Often in the modern church a goal is to bring people to church. It is almost as if we view ourselves attempting to hurry people to an escape pod as a space station is exploding. If Christ is victorious then

wherever Christ is salvation is. Whether that is at an altar or a beer soaked floor. Truth is not confined to a certain place; the presence of God is not confined to a certain place.

So make coldplay your anthem of truth. If you are a creator, don't be trapped in the box that for truth to be proclaimed it needs to end with an alter call. And more so, I’ve noticed that more than anything our call as Christians is to love people. It is to build compassionate and trustworthy relationships with others. The content of what we embrace or create is important but the people we encounter is even more important. So view concerts as an opportunity to meet people and “. . . Be prepared to give an answer for the hope that you have.”

Often I have seen Jesus really come out not in the vessels of entertainment and creativity but our interactions with the people we encounter. “ Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.”

All this to say I think that we can discern cultural engagement rather than retreating. If nothing else we need Christians in the mainstream to proclaim Christ. Maybe just because a concert doesn't end in an alter call God can't work through it. 

Mitch Johnson is a recent graduate of Crown College who Studied Theology, Music, Worship and is on the team at The New Young Christian building community and the worship culture