It's not always what you feel. It's not always what you see.
Emotions will mess with you.
Feelings will mess with you.
Not just mess with you, but will get you focused on the wrong things. I think fear is one of the biggest emotions and feelings that has some of the most pull. I think it does because fear is the opposite of faith. Let's put it this way, if the opposite of faith is fear, then I would suggest fear is faith for the Kingdom of Darkness. The more you fear, the stronger the "kingdom of darkness" becomes in your life. The more you fear, the darker it becomes and the darker it gets the harder it is to see clearly. When you get focused on worrying, your attention gets pulled away from certainty and peace that is from God. When you get focused on anger and resentment, you get pulled away from the love and forgiveness that is from God.
That's why "how I'm feeling isn't how I'm doing." If you are feeling afraid, worried or resentful then that isn't your future. Not to mention...that isn't your reality. Sometimes we live in a false reality that has been generated and perpetuated by what we feel. I LOVE IT when my feelings "line up" with the truth of my life. Those feelings are meant to back you and support you. But when your feelings don't line up...that's when you have to not live by your feelings but live by the truth of God. You may feel like having sex with your girlfriend but that's not what you are supposed to do. You may feel like you're not valued or wanted by others and feel alone but that's not the truth of your reality. You may feel like you don't love your spouse anymore because you don't "feel in love" but that 's not the truth of your marriage because you said yes back in your past that no matter what, you will love your spouse. You may feel fat but that's not the reality of your situation because that someone struggling with anorexia only ways 86 pounds (far from being fat!).
So when you feel something, make the mistake and be reactive to your emotions but be proactive towards God's truth about your situation. Because God's truth is your reality. Jesus is the truth, way and life. What you should do, if you should do it and how you should live are all found in the character, life and example that Jesus revealed to us. Remember when Jesus made this statement,
“Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” (Luke 22:42).
Jesus is feeling that he DOES NOT want to do this. Yet He says, "nevertheless." He knows this is right because God says it's right despite what He's feeling in the moment. Remember this statement,
"Father forgive them. They don't know what they are doing." (Luke 23:44)
In the center of the ridicule of the opposition, Jesus could have chosen to feel resentment but chose to look at the truth of the mission He was on compelling Him to move past what He was feeling to forgive.
The reality is bad things will happen to you. It's sad to say, but it's just part of living in a broken world with broken people. So change your perspective. If your core value is all things happen to me for my good ...then this is your perspective (Romans 8:28). This should be your perspective because this is God's perspective. So...what if you saw things from God's perspective? From God's perspective being laid off is actually a "a new God assignment to bless more people." From God's perspective, experiencing a breakup is the removal of a bad relationship leading to a bad future. From God's perspective, the loss of a loved one to sickness or disease is celebrating the healed and restored life of that person in heaven with no more sickness, disease, tears or pain.
God knows what He is doing, .... it's not WHAT IS happening to you but WHO IS watching over you and working it out for you. Life will throw you zingers...so make "zingenade", chug it down and finish with a confident "that was delicious. Since when did Zingenade become a thing?" Taste and see that the Lord is good. Because we serve a God who works all things out for good. So even though you're emotions freak you out, you know what you believe.
So ask yourself this question, "What would love do?"
Even if you get it wrong, but your motive is right, God who rights wrongs because His justice is perfect will right your wrong so you win in the end... always. Because when the people aren't good or the situation isn't good...God always is.
So trust God. Fix your eyes on Jesus. Author. Perfector. Finisher of your fatih.
"You are what you feel" is an unreliable and untrustworthy position to live in...